EMBRACING CHANGE… as if you chose it

EMBRACING CHANGE… as if you chose it

What a crazy notion: embracing change as if you chose it.

Unless your circumstances are dire – or you’ve just won the lottery – change is the last thing you want, right? When everything and everyone in your life remains the same or at least similar to what you’ve come to expect, there are no nasty surprises, no disappointments.

But nothing and no one on earth remains constant.

Change is all around us: seasons, jobs, circumstances, health, moods… Everything changes!

So why not embrace change. Just try it. It’s a mindset – an attitude that says I’m going to try my darndest to make the absolute best of every circumstance.

Our last 3 Christmases have been very different from all the previous ones.

Something unthinkable (to me, anyway) happened at the end of 2020; something that caused a deep sorrow that still lingers. And that something caused a major change in my life.

The change was completely out of my control. I tried everything I could think of to reverse matters, but nothing worked. This ‘something’ is still here, clinging to me like slimy black seaweed.

So for the last two years I’ve had to work on embracing this circumstance: on searching for, and finding, the positives – even in a seemingly hopeless situation. And you know what? It helps me get through the day.

Not only that, this attitude has opened my eyes to possibilities and opportunities I never ever would have considered or imagined!

Now, listen. I am a hopeaholic by nature. A cockeyed optimist, sure. Absolutely. Always will be. No matter what happens to me, I am keenly aware that there are countless others who have it much, much worse. It’s all about perspective. Right?

No matter how bad things are in my life, even in the midst of the most awful sadness and grief, I have always had a deep, indescribable, unending joy. And hope. And peace. I absolutely believe things will turn out for the best. Even when I can’t fathom how that will come about.

But for a lot of people (creatives especially) negativity, depression and, oftentimes, hopelessness, are the norm; and seeing things from a different perspective seems impossible.

That’s why I’m encouraging – nay, urging – you to embrace your circumstances! Whatever they are! You might be surprised at what you’ll discover.

For example, look at all the Creatives who embraced their new circumstances and came into their own during the pandemic! They were either made redundant, or they realised life is short and so they quit the 9-to-5. But because they still had to make a living, and forced to remain at home, they made the decision to do something they loved. They worked their passion, started earning money from it, and were fulfilled.

Now I know there are those whose circumstances are a lot different; for whom grief is a daily part of life at the moment. I’m not trying to diminish your feelings in any way. I’m just trying to say: this is a season you need to go through, and it’s OK to feel. Don’t try and suppress these deep-seated feelings. Just know: it’s temporary. You will make it through. Just hold on a little longer. Take things moment by moment…

I’m obviously no psychologist; I’m just sharing with you how I’m coping, and thriving. And I hope it helps you in some way.

It’s so easy for us to be self-focused, self-centred. But if we realise that no matter what we’re going through, there are always others, many others, who are having to endure much worse circumstances, and maybe there’s some way we can help them – well, that could be the reason you’re alive.

This ‘situation’ I’m in: at times it feels unbearable. Grief threatens to overwhelm me. But I know: ‘this too shall pass’. And I have a choice. We always have a choice. Do or die. Sink or float. Or swim! Drown in depression or sing through the pain. Wallow in sadness or decide to be grateful for every single thing, every single person, in your life, past and present. It’s your choice.

Gratitude is my attitude. And hope is my Kung Fu.

I choose to believe there’s a reason I’m going through whatever it is – so I can come alongside someone who’s going through a similar circumstance, and let them know they’re not alone. Let them know: there’s always hope.

I hope I’ve made a difference today, at least in one person’s life. Thank you for joining me. I hope you’re inspired and motivated!

If you liked this post, please share it far and wide.

If you have any comments, or a short, inspirational story to share, pop these in the COMMENTS box below.

If it’s a long story, I’d love to hear it too. Get in touch with me – pop over to my Contact page – and send me an email.

Until next time, take care of yourself, be kind to each other, and consider embracing change!

With Love,

Vx

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How to get PERFECT peace — in every circumstance.

How to get PERFECT peace — in every circumstance.

This is the briefest blog post I’ve ever done. A 1-minute read. 

I hope it resonates with you. 

I have a question.

Why do we skim over the 1st 5 words of Psalm 23?

Hear me out. No matter what you believe, this is worth thinking about. My life bears witness to this truth. If you can grasp it, it’ll mean a NIGHT-and-DAY DIFFERENCE in your life, I promise.

‘The Lord is my Shepherd…’

How awesome, how amazing, is that phrase!  The LORD — God of the Angel Armies, Creator of all things seen & unseen, the God of Israel, the great I Am, God above all gods, Lord of Lords, King of Kings — is MY SHEPHERD.

Wow . . .  Right?

Because I’ve handed over the reins of my entire life — all of me, my dreams, hopes, fears, desires, and all those I love & care about — to Almighty God, He guides me through every moment of life. He truly does.

In all my years as a Christian, Jesus has never failed me.  Never.  He has made a night-and-day difference in my life — and always EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS.

I will never doubt His wisdom, His strength, His power, His goodness, His timing, His plans for me.

‘The LORD is my Shepherd; I shall not want.’

Because He leads me, I lack nothing.  I have everything I need at all times.

Perfect peace, no matter the circumstances.

It’s not too late to hand over the reins of your life to Jesus.  You’ll never regret it.

May your Christmas be a truly peaceful one, blessed beyond belief.  And may you truly know The Reason for The Season.  

Thank you for reading.  Ever since this epiphany popped into my mind, I’ve been excited to share it.  I hope it resonates with you in some way.

With Love,

Vx

P.S. If you haven’t yet read my story about finding my dad at nineteen, I’d love for you to pop over to that blog post when you have some time.

Until next time, may 2023 bring you Joy, Hope & Peace that transcends all understanding & expectations!

If you’d like to let me know what you thought about this post, feel free to comment below.

NEXT TIME on The Hopeaholic blog: 

More uplifting content!

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Links to all my PREVIOUS BLOG POSTS can be found on the BLOG PAGE.

 

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MAKING A DIFFERENCE, IMPACTING YOUNG LIVES

MAKING A DIFFERENCE, IMPACTING YOUNG LIVES

Does your child/nephew/niece/grandchild think they’re special, amazing, unique?

Do they truly know their worth?

Wherein does their IDENTITY lie?

Meet Lynette Snyman. This South African has made it her mission to positively impact the lives of as many children as possible. And testimonies like this one are irrefutable proof that she’s accomplishing her goal:

One children’s pastor from a church using the syllabus Lynette created forwarded a voice note from a parent about how a lesson had impacted her family. The lesson was about how God has made each of us in an amazing and wonderful way, and that He has great plans for our life. Each child was given a mirror and they had to decorate it with stickers, and write I AM AMAZING on the bottom. This pastor gave each child a mirror to give away to someone else.

The voice note from the mom said: ‘My younger daughter gave the mirror to her friend during school. She told me that at aftercare her friend kept taking the mirror out of her bag and saying over and over: “I am amazing.” She said she could see the excitement in her eyes.’ The mom went on to say: ‘This material that you have sourced carries so much power and it’s so amazing to see the children doing what they have learnt at children’s church.’ 

Want to know more? Read on…

Corporate look

Lynette, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I always wanted to be a Year 1-3 teacher.

Did you realise that dream?

Yes. However, after teaching for six years, I became restless. So I prayed and asked God what to do. I was at a real crossroads. I asked Him to send someone to offer me a job in the next ten days. A few days later my pastor asked me to come and ‘sort out the children’s ministry’. I nearly fainted!

I love how God answered your specific prayer! And you’ve been in children’s ministry ever since. Tell us about your work.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have been teaching children for more than 20 years about Father God who loves them. At my church, where I’m a children’s pastor, we provide a place for 3- to 13-year-olds to encounter Jesus and experience His love and presence.

Part of my role as a children’s pastor is to source appropriate material to use in our children’s church. Because we live in South Africa, buying anything from the UK or USA is very expensive; and often, especially with the USA material, it has to be rewritten because our culture is very different. A few years ago I decided to write my own syllabus — without the help of Google. I wanted to make sure that it was all my own work, because I knew that I had to make it as a resource for not only my church but other churches too, across the world.

Ally grins

What was your LIGHTBULB moment?

Over the last 15 years I have had several prophetic words about writing material. So I knew it was in the pipeline. There are so many great, free children’s ministry resources available, but most of them teach children about God. Very few enable and encourage children to have a relationship with God.

I was looking for material that taught children about how God speaks to us, and then made listening to Him part of the lesson. I also wanted something that would work in a South African context, with a South African budget, and internationally. I remembered all the prophetic words and, encouraged and supported by my husband and son, decided to write my own.

Fit and fab

How did you know this was your calling, part of your purpose?

Besides all the prophetic words that I’d had over the years about writing, it is something that I enjoy, and it comes relatively easily to me.

How did you make the time in your busy schedule to create and write your unique, inspired syllabus?

The best thing I did was set aside one morning a week for writing. I would sit down after spending time with God and tackle whatever lessons I had to write for that day. I wasn’t allowed to pack up for the day until I had written my allotted number of lessons. When I got stuck, I prayed. And Holy Spirit always gave me ideas of what to write.

How do you promote your syllabus?

On my Living Clay website, which my very talented son built for me. I also promote it at conferences and workshops that a friend and I host. And some people hear about it from others and contact me.

Currently, my syllabus is being used by churches in South Africa, Canada, New Zealand and the USA.

 

Zumbalicious
Zumbalicious

Any journey highlights you’d like to share?

It’s been very humbling to get personal messages and photos from churches who are using my material, saying what a huge impact it is having on their children’s church. To think that something that I have written, with huge help from Holy Spirit, is having an impact not only in our church, but in several other churches, is very surreal.

One of the reviews on my website — a pastor’s recommendation — mentions that ‘kids with attention difficulties have engaged beautifully in this too‘.

Another children’s pastor told me about how initially the children struggled to write in their journals during ‘God Time’ (sitting quietly in God’s presence, listening to Him). One of the children didn’t want to participate at all, so she sat beside him and asked him how he was feeling and whether she could pray with him. After that, he wrote practically an entire page in his journal.

I was at a church recently where I was introduced as the lady who wrote all their lessons, and the children clapped for me. It was very sweet. I explained to the children that I didn’t write it alone — Holy Spirit helped me. I prayed before I planned each lesson set, and before I wrote each lesson. Whenever I got stuck I would say: ‘Holy Spirit, we need an idea here’, and soon enough an idea would pop into my head.

Were there particular moments when you had to take huge steps of faith?

Around the time I started writing the syllabus, another children’s pastor started inviting me to speak at workshops and conferences with her. That really was a huge step of faith for me. Now we plan and run the workshops and conferences together. Working with her has taught me how to jump out of the boat and walk on the water… and keep focussing on Jesus!

My current huge step of faith is trusting God to give me more opportunities to mentor and train others in the area of Children’s ministry. I feel that I have a wealth of experience and I would like to walk alongside and help others who are starting out or feeling a little stuck or overwhelmed. It is a difficult ministry to be in, as often you have to give up attending church with the rest of your family to do it. It can feel very lonely and isolating.

Zumbalicious

Steepest learning curve?

Let’s just say that there were some very stressful moments when my husband was trying to teach me new computer skills . . . However, my computer skills dramatically increased, so I’m grateful!

My current learning curve is how to market and sell my material. I have no business training, so I am having to figure things out as I go. It’s been really difficult ‘putting myself out there’ and promoting my syllabus. Charging people for my work doesn’t come naturally to me, although I understand that people put more value to something that they have paid for, and to create a good product costs money, because you need to pay for editing and illustrations, etcetera.

Any pearls of wisdom you’d like to share for those who aspire to make a difference or feel called to ministry?

Chat to people who are already doing what you’d like to do. Ask for help or direction when you need it. Pray and spend time with God to get His direction. Do whatever God gives you to do, even if it isn’t exactly what you had in mind to do. You never know what one thing will lead to.

Also, don’t try to be someone else. God has made you you, with your specific gifting and skill set, and even your wacky personality and traits. Work with what you’ve got, not what you wish you had.

As well as being a children’s pastor, syllabus creator/writer, wife, mother, conference and workshop speaker (do you sleep??) — I understand you volunteer with another pretty special ministry?

For the last ten years I have been fortunate enough to be part of a non-profit organisation called I am Special. It is staffed by volunteers who go into schools and tell children that Jesus loves them, and that God has a plan for their lives. We each have a specific school that we visit. Every Monday morning I spend 30 minutes in each of the six Grade 3 classes, and teach them about Jesus.

Many of the children at the school are from disadvantaged backgrounds. It’s always so rewarding when the children are excited to see me and greet me with huge enthusiasm. I say: ‘Good morning, children’, and they reply with: ‘Good morning, I am Special’. The great thing about the name of the programme is that they are speaking the fact that they are special over themselves every time they say the name.

Ally and students

Moments that have ‘made your day’?

I got a voice note from a mom whose children come to our children’s church. She wanted to know which songs we did at church the previous Sunday, because her three-year-old son keeps singing this one song, and she doesn’t recognise it. After several messages back and forth, we finally found the right one. It’s good to know that what we do on a Sunday doesn’t stay at church, but goes home with the children.

One of my highlights is spending time with my ‘children’ when they are all grown up. Many of the children I ministered to when I first started are adults now, and some have started families of their own. I’m still ‘Aunty Lynette’ to them, and I feel honoured that they still want to connect with me.

Lynette, you are a dollop of pure sunshine and I’m honoured to know you and call you my good friend. May God continue to bless you mightily in this powerful work you do.

For anyone interested in Lynette’s amazing syllabus for children’s church, there’s a 3 for 2 SPECIAL on her Living Clay website — only until the end of November!

Tweetable TAKEAWAYS:

Work with what you’ve got, not what you wish you had.

Pursue your passion, follow your heart.

You are unique, special, amazing!

 

Just so you know…

I don’t receive any reward or commission for promoting any of the people or businesses on my blog. I just want to inspire & motivate as many people as possible to fulfil their purpose & potential.

 If any other key points stood out for you, or you just want to let me know what you thought about this interview, feel free to comment below.

NEXT TIME on The Hopeaholic blog. . .

More inspiration, motivation & hope.

If you subscribe to my monthly news blurb (it’s brief, honest!) you’ll be in the know. wink

Did you enjoy my blog? Please Share the Sunshine. 🙂

The Maverick Moviemaker

The Maverick Moviemaker

Rule-breaker.  Moviemaker.  Maverick.

 

For 12 years, Bhavan Rajagopalan (39) from Chennai, India, has relentlessly pursued his dream of making a feature film.

After a few false starts with his first two original screenplays, Bhavan finally achieved his goal. This year, following almost four years of intense graft, his third feature screenplay – VIVESINI – will see the light. All because Bhavan made the decision to never give up.

I caught up with this intrepid writer/director/producer in August, shortly after his private screening at the Conway Hall in London. What follows is an in-depth interview that I’ve been breathlessly waiting to release. (It’s all about timing, darlings!) So brew a cuppa or grab a glass of what you fancy and settle into your sofa.

For ease of navigation, I’ve divided this interview into sections. If your time is limited, just click on a bulletpoint below to go directly to the subject of your choice.

Alternatively, to read the FULL INTERVIEW, just scroll down…

MAKING VIVESINI

– Convincing The Investors

– Breaking The Rules

– Pushing Through

– The Release!

– Why This Story?

TV Interview (no English subtitles, sorry! But it does include BEHIND-THE-SCENES CLIPS of acclaimed actor, NASSAR, as well as yours truly.)

BHAVAN’S JOURNEY

– How It All Began

– First Big Break 

– Paying His Dues

Corporate look

Making Vivesini: CONVINCING THE INVESTORS

Bhavan, how many potential investors did you approach?

Around 400-500. Out of which I got less than 20 people to put money in.

Wow. Your passion for this movie shines through. It’s clear that the people who have invested believe not just in the film but in you. Not only have you put a ton of your own money into Vivesini, but you’re a man of your word; you have made this movie despite Covid, a lack of funds and many stumbling blocks. And now you’re about to release it, ensuring that investors get their money back plus, hopefully, sizeable returns.

See that’s the tricky point here. Every filmmaker believes that they are going to make their film. But to convince another person – especially an investor – that they are going to see the end of the tunnel is the toughest part. I feel proud in that regard: that I was able to convince these 15 people to invest money – especially for a film that doesn’t have ‘stars’.

This is an independent film; and most indie films – not just in India but all over the world – don’t get completed. They’re shelved halfway through – mostly due to lack of funds, although there are other reasons. They don’t have someone who is willing to see the project through to the end over a few years if necessary, because nothing is holding them to it. They get bored, their passion for the project fizzles out, they lose interest.

Also: indie films are usually easy on budget, whereas Vivesini’s canvas is so big to be an indie film, it was even tougher to get investors. And most of them didn’t even believe that I could actually finish this extravagant script within the projected budget.

At the end of the day, there has to be some binding factor. I think I should be proud of that: I was that binding factor. Despite a lack of funds and no big names, I was able to transfer this confidence to my whole crew and cast.

What you’ve done, and what you’re accomplishing, is incredible. Did people tell you along the way: ‘It’s impossible. You shouldn’t even bother carrying on.’?

Yeah, sure. Mostly they said: ‘I don’t think this will work out.’

Because they saw other indie producers shelving their films?

Yes, sure. See, the way films are marketed in India is like this. The first and foremost thing potential investors ask is: who are the actors and who is the director? They want big names. Box Office names. So that they’re assured they’ll make a profit even before the film is released. They don’t even need to wait for box office returns, because the sale of the film to a distributor will usually give them a profit; the producers become ‘safe’. As soon as you sign a contract with an A-list actor, you’re good to go. But you have to finish the film. There are some directors who don’t manage to finish the film (after convincing the producer with these A-list actors in their project). Mainly because they haven’t budgeted correctly. As a result, they go way over budget and can’t afford to carry on. So that’s a problem with producers; they get carried away with A-list actors and end up spending more than what they were actually told.

But when you talk about a film without A-listers, or any kind of stars, then it’s going to be a big task – because you don’t know when it’s going to be released. There are hundreds and hundreds of unfinished Indie films just lying on shelves all over the world.

That’s very sad…

How did you manage to raise the crucial funding for post-production?

For five or six months I spent almost all my time looking for ‘closing’ funds (to complete post-production and produce the first full copy of the film, ready for distribution/exhibition). As I was getting nowhere, I had to slow down post-production work. During this time I was trying to get someone to be the Tamil voice of the British character, Alice, for dubbing. One of the audio engineers had been great in recommending other people for character dubbing, but the person for Alice was eluding us. Incidentally, there is a small role in the film, played by a child. His mother is an actress who speaks Tamil, so I thought maybe she would work well for ‘Tamil Alice’. I needed someone whose voice was strong; not a typical feminine voice. So I called this woman, and she was happy to do it – she’s very considerate in that way. She came in and did the dubbing really well.

At that time, I was asking everyone – everyone – for funds to help me complete the film. Without shame. Now, two or three weeks before this woman came into the studio, I’d asked for her help with funds. But she said she wasn’t sure; she didn’t think she wanted to invest in films. So, anyway, this was two or three weeks later, and she was in the studio with me, kindly doing the voice acting. And while she was recording, she was watching the footage pertaining to Alice’s scenes. Once she’d finished recording, she looked at me: her expression told me she was impressed with what she’d seen. And she told me that she would be speaking with her husband that night about funding for the movie. A week later, she came back to me with her husband and they invested the crucial funds.

But that’s not all. When I say ‘closing funds’, this is what I mean: Let’s say I needed 80 lakhs (approximately £87,000) to finish everything – I would not ask for 80 lakhs because it’s too much money to ask for in one go. So I would ask for only 5 lakhs, for example, so I can finish a certain amount.

So when this couple invested their portion, I was able to complete an integral part. Then I required another closing amount. And I found that as soon as people watched the trailer, things changed. People started believing in me. Because it looked like a proper film – an extravagant horror/thriller! Until that moment, they were all thinking: OK, this guy is doing something stupid. Let’s see what he does. But when they saw the trailer, the change in them was incredible. It was like they could see what I saw: a proper movie that you can actually go and watch at the cinema!

So this woman’s husband then put me on to his friend who’s a big shot in East Africa. He’s actually from a film background, but he hated films because his grandfather lost all his money in films – so he moved to a different industry and is doing really well. So I had a conference call with him, with the help of our mutual friend. But what he’d apparently told his friend – the husband who’d invested in my movie – was: ‘Listen, I’m not planning to invest in films. I saw the trailer, it’s very good but I don’t want to have anything to do with films.’

So I got on the call and spoke to this guy… And I told him I didn’t want him to invest in the film – because the moment you say ‘film’, it’s a gamble. I understood that. He did too. I just asked him to hear me out. And I proceeded to give him the same ‘speech’ I’d given hundreds of times already.

At the end of the call, he said he wanted to invest. Everything. Not just a part of the remaining funds, but everything.

I couldn’t believe it. A lot of people say they’ll invest but don’t. But this guy did. And it all happened because my audio engineer couldn’t find me a good option to do the Tamil voice of Alice.

There were several instances in the making of this film where something would elude me… and then I’d end up with something better than I’d hoped for.

Ally grins

Making Vivesini: BREAKING THE RULES

I understand your casting decision for the Protagonist/lead female actor breaks all the rules. Tell us how that came about.

I happened to sign a well-known (not A-list but a ‘name’) actor. She loved the script and she was studying anthropology at the time; I was thrilled because she was so close to the character. But a month before filming began, she pulled out. I think it was due to a better offer elsewhere, but I’m not sure. I’d prepared everything; we were almost ready to start filming and the protagonist had disappeared. So I found someone else. But I wasn’t happy, initially.

When I saw Kavya’s headshot, I thought: No. I can’t see this young woman in the role. But she insisted: she wanted to audition. I felt so bad! I told her not to come, because I knew I was going to just reject her; I didn’t want to waste her time. However, when she carried on insisting, I gave in and said she could send in a self tape. So she did.

Well, I was impressed. My co-writer was impressed. I showed the tape to my wife, to get an outside opinion; she was impressed too. But there was a problem. In Tamil cinema, the ‘look’ factor is considered a big thing. There is a certain type of look people expect when they watch a movie. In India, fair skin is a huge thing. Just like Caucasian people tanning themselves to look darker, bleaching over in India is a very big thing. So this particular young woman, Kavya, is not your typical ‘lead actress’ material. Usually dark-skinned female actors would be typecast in certain roles, restricting them to be a servant maid or a mother of a small child in the slums, in the ghetto – because Indian people associate dark skin with this. (They are not cast as higher/middle class, English-speaking, progressive, fashionable, learned women.)

Now hold on. Kavya is stunning! And talented! How could she not be considered a lead actress?

Exactly. It’s just the way people are. I mean, I was quite impressed with the audition, but when I told my team I wanted Kavya as the protagonist, they were not happy. I understand where they’re coming from, but after watching her audition, I’d changed my mind about her. She was phenomenal, and her dark skin perfectly suited my needs. Getting them to change their minds, though… I actually had a make-up man booked, and he did a couple of make-up tests with her. But every time he finished, he moaned: ‘Why do you want to do a film with this girl? Do you want this film to bomb? I have seen people – extras – who look fair and better.’

I wasn’t angry with him; I understood where he was coming from. It’s drummed into you from childhood; it’s part of our education and upbringing. His outlook. But he didn’t understand what I saw in terms of what I was trying to accomplish with the script. So I didn’t say anything. But I had to get a different make-up man because he would’ve remained prejudiced against her. Every time he made her up, he tried to make her look fair – I didn’t want that. (In fact, we actually dropped two shades down to make her look a little darker than she is.)

This film is breaking a lot of rules in a lot of senses. For example: how actresses are projected in the film. If you compare my film with any other Indian film, you’ll immediately see what I mean. In Indian cinema, you will not see a shabby female protagonist. Or a dark one who is from an upper middle class, progressive family. In typecasting, their characters will be found in ghettos.

What made you want to break the rules?

As a filmmaker I want to break clichés. You’ll see a lot of what I mean in Vivesini. I’m not happy with the way fair vs dark skin is being treated in India. Especially in cinema. Especially with women. Male protagonists can be dark and clumsy. They’re considered masculine. Female actors have to be clean, fair-skinned, and neatly dressed. Even if they roll on the ground, they have to look perfect. Especially their hair. I just can’t digest this. So finding this protagonist was a big thing for me because I had to convince a lot of my chief technicians and others that she was right for the part, and I think she did a very good job in the film. She’s believable and she portrayed the lead character, Shakthi, really well.

Why do you believe Vivesini will be considered a benchmark?

Because of the roles I’ve given to two foreign actors. Getting foreign actors to participate has been a highlight. It was a huge task because it involves a lot of processes. The way it usually works is this: when Caucasians are used in Indian cinema, they’re almost always in the roles of ‘puppets’, much like when Asians are used in Hollywood. Mainly because the producers over in India can’t always afford a proper ‘Hollywood’ actor; the cost would be way more than the Indian producer could afford. So what they would do is – because they can’t write a screenplay that has scope for an actual actor of foreign origin (as they won’t be able to afford one) – they will hire extras from Pondicherry. (It’s a French-dominated city, so there are lots of Caucasians – more Eastern Europeans or French people than Americans or Brits, but they work just fine because they’re merely ‘props’.) You’ll never see them portraying a serious role in an Indian film. So that’s why my movie is going to be considered a benchmark.

Would you say Vivesini is a ground-breaking movie?

I can’t say that, as it’s my film. Someone else could say it, but I definitely think my film will stand out as a benchmark film because I can say that with absolute certainty that there aren’t any films in India with foreign actors playing important, defining roles. I’m not only talking about ‘stars’; there aren’t any foreign actors. Because the films don’t allow them to have an additional language. The moment you bring in a foreign actor, the script has to have space for whatever language that actor speaks. (For example, I cannot have a Chinese or eastern European or African actor in the film unless the script demands it). Whereas Vivesini’s screenplay accommodates foreign actors – making it a transnational film.

I’ve borrowed that term from a professor: the head of the film department in the University of Michigan. He saw the film and really liked it. He said it’s the first transnational film from India.

What made you decide to make a transnational film? Wasn’t your task of producing your first feature film ‘impossible’ enough?

I wouldn’t consider this an impossible task. I’ve always known there would be hurdles. My approach to almost everything is to add additional challenges to it. So it seems impossible for someone from outside – getting foreign actors on board, with all the visa issues, etc. – but the script demanded it. Once you see the movie, you’ll understand. The influence of British progressive thinkers – their ideas – on India… There is a huge political debate happening in India, especially about the post-colonial effect. After watching the film, you’ll understand why I had to create an American character and an English character. It’s not just ‘for show’; they have distinct importance and meaning.

So you didn’t mean to go out and make a transnational film. You just intended to write a script, create a story, that meant something to you?

Correct. The script and the research work took me to these places; these characters were born out of the Journey I took while writing Vivesini.

Making Vivesini: PUSHING THROUGH

When you started producing Vivesini, what were your ‘release’ expectations?

We were planning for a December 2020 release. Production began in November 2019, and we’d planned to complete production by April/May 2020 and then spend five or six months on post-production. But Covid hit and messed with our plans, and we had to close down in March 2020. Those 1½ years were complete hell.

What were your lowest moments?

Although there were low moments, I never had the feeling that it was over, that I couldn’t complete the film, because I have always been very hopeful about this movie – positive I’d be able to see it through to completion and distribution. Even during times when I didn’t see solutions in front of me, I just kept telling myself: OK, it’ll be OK; just a few more days, or a few more months… and then eventually everything will ease out.

The lowest point was during Covid. It’s not like I’m on the cusp of the industry, swinging between theatre projection and OTT (streaming services like Netflix, etc.). Initially I was orthodox about the movie: I wanted it to be showcased in the cinema rather than go straight to TV. So I was taken aback with the situation where movies were moving from being released in the cinema to going straight to OTT. At one point I remember (this was at the beginning of Covid, mid-2020), I was talking about this with my friend, my co-writer, and I told him that even if I don’t make enough profit – even if I make a loss – I think I’m going to wait for theatres (cinemas) to open, so I can release Vivesini the ‘traditional’ way. I’m not planning to release this in OTT.

By the end of 2021 I’d jumped to the OTT side of the fence. I told myself, ‘Bloody hell, I’m not going to care about whether this film is released in cinemas or OTT, because investors are at my back and I have invested a great deal in this film myself (time and cash), and I have to recoup the money.’ So I started thinking like a producer.

But my co-writer, who knows me well, wasn’t convinced. Two months ago, I was frustrated and told him: ‘I’m so tired; I just want to sell this film and get the money back; I don’t even care if the film is released or not.’ And he said nothing. He just looked at me knowingly. Then, two weeks back, I repeated my statement but I added: ‘I don’t care if I get the money back – but I do want the recognition.’

He smiled at that and said he was going to tell me that two months ago, when I told him all I cared about was the money. ‘This is you, Bhavan,’ he said. ‘I don’t think you’ll be happy with just the money because you have been starving for this for the past twelve years!’ (I’ve been trying to make a feature film for the past twelve years.) So I think this moment is probably about receiving recognition, or about communicating with the people. You feel happy when your communication with people – getting your message across – is successful, isn’t it?

That makes sense, that you’re looking for recognition. Because the exciting part about completing your first movie – besides getting to be creative and doing what you love, of course – is that it makes producing your next movie easier. Right? Once you’ve been recognised in the industry – once you’ve made a name for yourself as someone who’s written, produced, directed, and got distribution for, a high-quality, commercial feature film – people realise they can rely on you. This means they’ll give their money to you to make another movie. And you’ll no longer have to spend months or years raising funds. Right?

Right.

Who has been your biggest support throughout all of this?

There are a couple of people who have practically supported me. One of them is my co-writer and mentor, Gajendran Kannan. He’s known me since I was 20/21. He’s been instrumental in a lot of instances in my life. Emotionally, intellectually, he’s been very supportive. And my wife. Without Saya, I would not have been able to finish this project. She took care of our child by sacrificing her corporate career to enable me to chase my dream. And she’s a huge encouragement to me.

Bhavan’s Journey: HOW IT ALL BEGAN

Now, Bhavan, I understand that you completed your Masters in Film Production at Canterbury Christchurch University in the UK in 2010 – where you wrote, produced and directed the short, powerful sci-fi drama, The Grey Area. Then your long, uphill journey began. You worked your way up from the bottom in the movie and ad industry, producing short films, corporate documentaries and commercials until you founded Laburnum Productions in 2019. But what I want to know is: has filmmaking always been your dream?

No. In India, when I was a child, I didn’t even know what a camera was. It wasn’t until I was 20 that I developed the secret ambition of doing something in cinema. Not out of a passion for moviemaking – but because it was flashy. It took me quite a few years, and Gajendran’s intervention, I would say, after I told him what I thought I was good at. At the age of twenty, it all started for me. It was then that I started making films.

So before that, what did you want to be?

I started writing stories when I was a young child, around ten years old. But they weren’t original. I mostly wrote down a film that I’d watched – and I’d make some small changes, like I would give the films different endings that suited me better.

I didn’t even know at the time that this thing existed in life where you had to achieve something. I was in my own world. Before this, I used to delude myself that I would be a cricketer.

Were you good at cricket?

I was not. That’s the sad part. I was so deluded. Ignorant. I actually believed that I would play for India. Without any practise. I enjoyed it, though. But looking back at it now, I think I must have been a complete hypocrite. I knew I couldn’t do certain things but I acted like I could; I acted like I could somehow circumvent things and achieve what I wanted. You can’t do that.

I think that’s part of my Indian upbringing: that you believe you can circumvent anything and reach the top – not in an honest way.

I’m laughing because that doesn’t sound like the Bhavan I know. That sounds very rose-tinted.

I was. I broke my rose-tinted glasses a long while back.

How did you meet your mentor – and co-writer of Vivesini – Gajendran Kannan?

As soon as I finished my college years and got my filmmaking/visual effects diploma, I started working for an advertising agency, taking care of the marketing. That’s where I met Gajendran. He was a part-time writer there. A lot of things opened up after talking to him. Just for someone to understand they’ve been deluding themselves about their skillset – you need some sort of suspended observation, some kind of intervention to see yourself from a different perspective.

Whenever some part of my brain would ask me: Are you really good at…? I would just lie to myself. To give an honest answer (No) would mean I had some sort of understanding about myself, which I didn’t. Once that’s opened up, you will start giving yourself honest answers. This makes your life much easier.

How did you and Gajendran end up working together?

I wouldn’t use that term. It’s always been a mentor/student relationship, but I don’t think he ever thought about it that way. He’s an amazing guy. He can mentor anyone. I’m not his only ‘student’. We have a similar wavelength and he’s seen so many people in his life who were similar to me. He has a way – he will kindle your abilities, your skillset. That’s what mentors do.

Bhavan’s Journey: FIRST BIG BREAK

After the ad agency and before CCCU in 2010, what were you doing?

I became assistant to the late K.V. Anand, an important, award-winning cinematographer and director in India. Apart from Tamil films, he did notable Bollywood films too.

How did that happen?

Gajendran had interviewed K.V. Anand, and – realising the man’s love of literature – thought he and I would be a good fit. He said I should make a short film; that was sure to impress K.V. Anand. (At that time, doing a short film was a big thing; not many people were doing it.) So I did, and I approached this great cinematographer and gave it to him to watch. He was just about to start work on his first feature film as a director, so the timing was great.

Well, he loved my film; he told me it’s very good. But he said: ‘I’m sorry but I can’t take you on. I already have five assistants. I really like your film but I just can’t take you on. I have no space for you. Why don’t you try other directors?’

I told him, ‘I really just want to work with you.’

So you killed one of the five assistants and took his place?

Oh the truth is much more interesting – and legal. At this point in my life, I was broke. And I’d lost hope because K.V. Anand had told me several times that he’s not going to take me on. So I took a job in a law firm, doing graphic design. I’d worked there for just five days when I received a call from my previous employer at the ad agency. His grandmother had passed away and he asked if I wanted to pay my respects. All my friends would be there.

So I got permission from the law firm, which was only three streets away from the house where I would need to go to pay my respects, and I started walking. I was just a few steps away from the entrance when I got a call. From K.V. Anand. He told me his film had need of a visual effects person, so if I was willing to start as his assistant – with low pay – I could have the job. And I could start that afternoon.

I was so excited! Too excited, in fact, to be going to a funeral. I entered the home, where everyone was sad and I could barely contain my exhilaration. My previous employer asked me what I was doing as a job, and I proudly answered: ‘Oh you don’t know? I’m K.V. Anand’s assistant.’

After paying my respects, I had to return to the law firm and apologetically resign. But they were so impressed with who my new employer was going to be, they were happy. I left there and went straight to K.V. Anand’s office and started on my first feature film.

How did you find working with K.V. Anand?

He was primarily a cinematographer, so I learnt a lot. See, I believe that you don’t actually really learn anything from a director. Because direction is more like a curating job. You need to have it in you. It’s a style. In those days people arrived with a clean slate. They’ll work for seven or eight films with the same director and then you will see similarities in the films they make because they would have got everything they learned from the director. But it doesn’t work that way nowadays. Basically, you now work with a director for contacts. If any person comes to work for me in the future as my assistant, I don’t believe he’ll learn anything from me. He’s just coming to me because I have a name, so he’ll get some contacts and that’s how he’ll grow. Whereas cinematography isn’t like that. You learn from them. It’s a process, a technique. So, with K.V. Anand I learned a lot with respect to cinematography, stylised lighting and aesthetics. Not directly from him but from his assistants; that’s how it works with these stalwarts. So I’m strong in that regard.

Bhavan’s Journey: PAYING HIS DUES

What part-time jobs have you had throughout your life?

I liked doing part-time jobs because I liked having cash in my hand and I didn’t like to ask my father for money. But for each part-time job I did, I would have to bunk college. So I would do it discreetly. I didn’t want my father – who was paying my tuition fees – to know that I was missing some studies because I was working part-time so I could get a couple hundred bucks.

After finishing my under graduation, I started at the ad agency; and I worked there for less than a year. That’s when I made my first short film and screened it at a few local festivals. That’s when I found my path. I realised my content was completely different to other short films. This was back in 2003/4. At that time, ‘short film’ meant: ‘give a social message’. That’s what short films were all about. Complicated emotions don’t come into it at all. My film was about a complex point in a guy’s life and I’d added a huge sexual taboo in one scene. It all started there. That’s why I was not able to get too excited about my first two feature film scripts – because they’re too conventional.

What made you decide to go to CCCU to do a one-year post-graduate degree?

I always wanted to pursue higher studies in films, ever since I finished my digital filmmaking diploma back in 2003. But it didn’t happen. I tried going to Australia in 2005, but it didn’t happen. Then, eventually, in 2008, I made a 60-minute film. That film got me a scholarship to CCCU.

That was a turning point in my life. Until then I’d always considered myself as someone useless with academics. I thought I could never step into an academic life because I don’t have the skillset. I have a lot of difficulty in understanding a lot of things. So, getting a scholarship from a prestigious university greatly boosted my confidence.

Did you make the 60-minute film in order to apply for a scholarship?

No. I’d already made the film when I decided to make my application. When they asked me to submit what I’d already done, I submitted this 60-minute film. And I got in. I was one of only eleven international scholarships. For me, that’s something I cannot digest.

Wow, that’s huge. Congratulations. What a validation. No one at CCCU knew who you were; you had no contacts or connections there. You simply got in on the merit of something you had created.

Yes! It gave me the assurance I needed to know that I’m not deluding myself about being a filmmaker. Because remember, I deluded myself about being a cricketer. That part always plays on my mind and makes me doubt my abilities. But this achievement gave me what I needed to realise I’m actually capable of making films.

How did you gather the funds to make the 60-minute film?

A little portion was funded by a friend. Another portion was crowd-funded. And I put in my own money for the rest.

After CCCU, upon returning to India, what was your plan?

I was not planning to immediately make films. I knew it would be tough and I had to earn money straight away. So I started a production house and created TV commercials and corporate videos. That was a win-win. I earned money and I built a showreel I could show to potential producers.

How did you land such prestigious clients? I see two or three big names among your ads.

It was a struggle. Especially since I was in Chennai, not Mumbai or Bangalore – where all the big shoots (films and ads) take place. Chennai is a very conventional, orthodox market. They don’t spend a lot of money. But I was not willing to move. I wanted to eventually make a film in Chennai, so I stayed there. And it ended up being a blessing in disguise because I was able to make some really big films for peanuts.

Every time I attempt something big, I tell myself I’m learning something: something is going to come out of this. And that’s actually what helped me finish Vivesini.

When people watch Vivesini, they will see the scale of the production. It does not look like an independent film; it appears to be a studio film. I got this practise – perseverance and stamina – from several years of doing small films. It has become second nature for me, like muscle memory. If I don’t have money, I won’t think: I can’t do it. I will find alternative ways to do it.

I have trained my crew like that over the past few years. My crew understands that I will push them. Someone who has worked with me will not work in the same way with another director because he knows how I work. We have shot in idiotic conditions and in unconventional ways, but we have done it.

Making Vivesini: THE RELEASE!

Bhavan, how are you feeling right now?

Relieved! After almost four years of struggle. We all took an unwelcome break during Covid – even though I filled my time with post-production work and editing on the film, as well as fundraising. But I’m relieved the movie is now ready to be exhibited. I can see how people react. I’ve already received fantastic feedback, so I’m positive about distribution.

Fantastic! When are you hoping to release Vivesini in India?

I’m aiming for November this year.

I understand you’re looking at film festivals, but they’re secondary. Your priority is releasing the film, right?

You know, just like a lot of plans changed due to Covid, my initial plan was different. In 2018, we were planning on going down the traditional Indian marketing route. i.e. You make an independent film, you take it to festivals, you get laurels on your poster (if your movie wins anything), and then you start selling your film. But what I realised is: festivals are a huge commercial industry now. Especially over the last five/six years. There are hundreds of film festivals across the globe. So even if you make a terrible film, you just have to literally pay some money and you’ll get laurels from quite a few of them. So that rang a bell for me. I decided I’d never get into that. If I submit my film to festivals, it will only be prestigious ones – ones where winning or even just being nominated matters. But even if I get a screening at one of these, I won’t use it for promoting my movie. Because people have become so diluted. Filmmakers can now say that their film got into the Cannes or Venice film festival. But if you look a little harder, you’ll see it’s not the Cannes, etc. festival – it’s the Cannes Tamil film festival, for example. For these reasons I decided to stay away from the general film festival circuit and market this film like a typical commercial film. And my marketing tactics are interesting ones.

So you’re marketing it in India first, but you have English subtitles throughout the movie – does this mean you aim to market it outside of India as well?

I am planning to market it outside of India, but that’s not a priority. The reason the English subtitles are there is: India has close to thirty languages; at least ten of these are used in the film industry. People living in Delhi don’t speak Tamil, so they won’t be able to understand my film. But in southern and northern parts of India, people speak English – so even though Tamil is not their language, they’ll be able to understand my film. And of course, film festivals need subtitles for foreign films.

OK, so India aside, what are your next steps? Will you take Vivesini to Netflix or Amazon Prime, for example, or do you want an international cinema release in another country, or worldwide?

That all depends on the offers that come in.

Making Vivesini: WHY THIS STORY?

This isn’t the first feature film you’ve written. What made you choose to produce your third screenplay, rather than the first two?

I strongly believe the story transports you somewhere. Whereas the other two screenplays didn’t have the energy to ‘pull’ me, to keep me committed to them, this one did. I’ve pitched all three scripts to several investors, but this one had a different energy. I just knew that with this one, even if no one decided to put money in, I would make it. It’s a story that can’t just sleep. It has to see the light. It’s probably the Vivesini energy that the films speaks of that has awakened.

Do you think, of the three screenplays, Vivesini has the best ‘draw’ to give you acclaim? Whereas the other two will definitely get: ‘Wow, what a fantastic writer, director… What great entertainment!’ But this one might afford you the recognition, the acclaim, you deserve?

Maybe. I really don’t think about acclaim, to be honest. I’m just happy I made the film. But let’s assume this film affords me some acclaim – I’m pretty sure the other two films would not. If I look at the three screenplays from a commercial standpoint, this one is the riskiest to make. By far. The other two are also commercial, but superficial. They would have given me a very safe ‘landing’. A safe footing. Especially being the first film. But fortunately it didn’t happen, and they didn’t have the energy to pull me in. Whereas this, being so deep – that’s probably why I put in so much effort.

Why did you choose to make a film about rationality?

Rationalism is important to me because I am a perfect example of what happens without it. See, until I was 33/34, I was a strong ‘believer’; I would do the most irrational things. I made horrible life decisions because I believed in such irrational things.

Because of the religion you were brought up in?

Religion is a fundamental reason, but I wouldn’t blame it completely. As a character I had a lot of beliefs in irrational things. For example I would take life decisions on irrational things, believing something would happen. It stemmed out of religious beliefs, yes, that’s the root of it.

This film is like a catharsis for me. I want to show people that if you start going behind rationality, you’ll end up on the better side.

From the age of 22/23 until I was 34, my only aim in life was to make a film. So each of my decisions in life would move towards that. ‘If I do this, then I think I will make a film.’ It doesn’t have any rational connection. It’s a belief.

Let’s say: ‘If I move from a house that’s not auspicious for me to a new house that is, things will click into place and I will probably make a film.’ That’s one of the reasons I moved house. Because I believed silly things like that would propel me to do a film.

Is it like superstition?

Yes, but no one tells you that. I was in a state of madness. When you’re a child, for example, you tell yourself you mustn’t walk on the cracks in the pavement. If you succeed in this, you will have a better chance of passing your exam. See? The only problem is: I believed this sort of thing as an adult. As a result, I ruined my life.

I’m looking at you, Bhavan, and I don’t see a life ruined. You have a beautiful, loving wife and a gorgeous daughter, and you’ve achieved your dream of making a movie. You’re fulfilling your passion. You may have taken a longer route than you would have liked, but I think there’s always a reason. Some people, and I’m including myself here, take a bit longer to get to success – because if they’d got to it sooner, they wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Do you think you’re one of those people?

You can say that. But I wouldn’t give that as a reason. I would just say: one should not be so irrational in life. And in India it’s partly because of the upbringing, the social pressure that’s been put on you. For example, in India you can tell your child: ‘Go pray to god that you’ll do well in your exams. And if you do, you’ll pay god ten bucks.’ That’s where it starts. And it just gets worse. Every decision you make in life: marriage, children, moving house, buying a car, taking your parent to the hospital or not taking them to the hospital… You become a mentally ill person.

I can see that this movie is not just a life achievement or a career achievement for you. It’s a mental achievement, an emotional and psychological achievement.

Yes, that’s the right way to put it. It is an emotional achievement. It has cleared away a lot of clogs in my head.

The fact that Vivesini got screened in the prestigious Conway Hall in front of the members of The Freethinker magazine, as well as The NSS and other academics and intellectuals, was really a defining moment for me in this journey. The reception and the feedback I received really gave that morale boost that I was searching for.

Emma Park  (Editor of The Freethinker) & Bhavan in conversation with the audience during the Vivesini private screening at the Conway Hall, London.

Watch Bhavan’s TV Interview below. (No English subtitles, sorry! But it does include BEHIND-THE-SCENES CLIPS of acclaimed actor, NASSAR, as well as yours truly.)

Bhavan, I see why so many people have been willing – are willing – to support you. Because they see who you are: a beautiful, talented, lovely human being who has created something, and they want to be a part of it. Wishing you every success with Vivesini and for everything that comes after.

Tweetable TAKEAWAYS:

Never give up on your dream. Find a way to make it happen.

Break the rules!

BELIEVE you can do it.

Pursue your passion! 

 If any other key points stood out for you, or you just want to let me know what you thought about this interview, feel free to comment below.

NEXT MONTH on The Hopeaholic blog. . . 

Inspiration, motivation, hope. You’ll find it all here.

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WIND BENEATH MY WINGS: it’s never too late to follow your dream.

WIND BENEATH MY WINGS: it’s never too late to follow your dream.

MARK PILE, a consultant, has a Foundation Arts Degree in Security & Risk Management, and a background in counter-intelligence. His talents and hobbies include singing, playing guitar, dancing and acting. He’s been told he has a natural golf swing; and he enjoys photography and loves sailing and travelling. But he chose aviation as his dream.

A dream he only actively began to pursue a few months ago, at the age of 53.

Corporate look

Mark, how long have you been waiting for this dream to happen?

I’ve been waiting since my 30s. When I was in the South African Navy, I had the opportunity to do some flying with the air force pilots in a helicopter and I got to sit in the co-pilot’s seat. I knew then: this is what I want to do.

You were conscripted – you had to join the armed forces – and you initially chose the air force, right?

Yes, I was nineteen. Even back then I wanted to be in the air: I wanted to fly jets. But I was short-sighted and they only took people with twenty-twenty vision. So I chose the navy.

When you were growing up, what did you want to be?

At one stage I wanted to be a lawyer. Mercantile law. Because it had to do with the sea, and sailing. I’ve always loved sailing.

Why did your dream of being a lawyer end?

My parents couldn’t afford to send me to university.

So, now that you’ve got the money to pursue your passion, why aren’t you pursuing a law career?

Because it’s not my passion. It was of great interest to me in my teens, but the moment I realised it wasn’t achievable, I put it aside, and I’ve not regretted it. A huge part of it comes from knowing your purpose, and I’ve always felt I’m called to do something other than a corporate job. I’ve never wanted a day-to-day ‘office’ job – something that’s the same every single day. With flying, I get to go up into the clouds, 3,000 feet, and that’s my office.

As this dream of yours is still in progress – you’re currently training for your private pilot licence (PPL) – what do you currently do for a job?

I’m a consultant, working for a large construction/engineering/facilities management company, Vinci Facilities, on a Ministry of Defence contract. That’s all I can say about that.

Ah. Or you’ll have to kill me.

Yes. (Haha.)

When do you pursue your passion for flying?

On weekends and the occasional off day during the week. I have an amazing instructor – Iona Morris – and I’m just so blessed by her. I won’t fly with anyone else. She knows what she’s doing; her way of teaching is so effortless and flawless, it makes you understand clearly what you need to do.

And here’s a great example of how God puts you with people who will support your dream: I was chatting with Iona one day and I told her my plan – my big dream to fly aid into war-torn countries – and she was taken aback. ‘That’s what I wanted to do!’ she replied. ‘That’s exactly what I’ve wanted to do, but for whatever reason, I’ve never been able to achieve it.’ And then she floored me. She said: ‘You know, in a way, I’m achieving my dream through you. By getting you qualified and training you up in the most excellent way, I’m helping you to achieve your dream.’ I just think that’s amazing.

Ally grins

Serendipitous. What else do you want to do once you’ve got your ‘wings’?

I would love to fly seaplanes, island hopping, taking tourists around.

Sounds like an idyllic life. How long will this PPL take you?

It all depends. I have to get 45 hours in the air. Part of that is doing two solos, flying with an examiner, doing four touchdowns… The time I’ll take to achieve all this will depend on a number of factors: aeroplane and instructor availability, my availability, finances, my ability to study and pass nine extremely difficult ground exams…

I’ve given myself 24 months to complete my PPL because I’m taking the advice of some wise people who’ve gone before me, people who’ve achieved this dream. They say: take your time. Don’t rush it. Enjoy every moment. And that’s what I intend to do.

Have you completed any of the ground exams yet?

Yes, three of the nine. For the first two, I got 100%, and the third one: 87%, which I’m proud of. But I wouldn’t have been able to achieve any of this without the ground school I’m training with: Ash Holding, the PPL Groundschool owner, is an incredible trainer. He’s got 20+ years of experience, and I’m so grateful to him because I’m not a natural academic; I struggle with theory and the textbooks are thick. He’s a Godsend, just like Iona.

Once you’ve completed your PPL, what are your next steps?

I want to do an airline transport pilot licence (ATPL) – because only with an ATPL can I fly logistics, piloting various aircraft. I also want to get my Night Rating, so I can fly after sunset, and my Instrument Rating, so I can fly above the clouds and in low visibility.​

You’ve had quite a journey so far. You & your wife left South Africa – and everything and everyone you knew – in October 2001, and you came over to the UK and found yourselves at the bottom of the career ladder, right?

Yes, just before leaving SA, I was a full lieutenant in the navy, in the intelligence division – just six months away from being promoted to Lieutenant Commander. When I started over in London, I couldn’t get a job anywhere near my South African salary and had to start over as a security guard, on the night shift.

Why did you leave SA?

Apartheid. Or rather, a sort of reverse Apartheid. The ANC had taken over and they’d stopped all promotions of anyone not in the ANC. So they offered me a choice: leave, or remain in the navy at my current rank and go over to the Congo, where I would be in danger of contracting the Ebola virus, or die at the hand of a 12-year-old with an AK 47. So I left.

Both my wife and I had access to British passports, and we believed emigrating to England was our best option.

At that time, the internet was in its infancy in SA. Having never been to the UK before, and unable to ‘google’ as such, weren’t you fearful or worried about culture shock, or not having enough money, seeing as £1 would cost you about R11?

All of those things played on my mind, sure. But there was no future for me in South Africa. I was a 32-year-old white male. I believed there were better opportunities in England, and I’d contacted, via email, a few recruitment consultants in London who agreed with me. In their minds, I was an exciting candidate and they were sure they could place me in a fantastic job.

Zumbalicious
Zumbalicious

What went wrong? What were you hoping for in the UK and why didn’t it happen?

I was hoping to start as a manager, or senior manager, in the security industry – especially since this is what the recruitment consultants indicated I would be ideal for. But apparently I wasn’t skilled enough, according to the ‘powers that be’, and I had to start at the bottom: looking after construction sites at night for minimum wage. It was an extremely challenging time. I remember having to regularly wait outside in the snow at 4am, for a bus…

The first two years were the toughest. I was ready to pack up and go back to South Africa. The only thing that stopped me was that there was nothing to go back to. After that, it became slightly easier, but for the first five or six years in the UK, my wife and I were living hand to mouth. If we took a holiday, it was back to Cape Town, with one or two short-break exceptions – and we paid for every holiday with credit cards. We racked up a lot of debt. It took years for us to completely clear all the debt, but it taught us a valuable lesson: If we can’t pay cash for something now, we don’t get it. ​​

After starting out as a security guard, how did you manage to get to the point where you could afford to start training to be a pilot?

Over the years I proved myself in various jobs, and I was blessed in that I kept on getting headhunted. I moved from job to job in the UK, each time a little higher up the ladder and with a great leap in my salary, until 2016, when I was headhunted again, this time to go to the Middle East. I would be a senior contract manager, running a Ministry of Defence site just outside of Dubai, for a fantastic salary.

Without ever having visited the Middle East, my wife and I packed up our most precious things, and our two cats, gave almost everything else away – furniture, appliances, you name it – and rented out our house (which we’d bought in 2007). Then we got on a flight to Dubai.

We stayed in the Middle East for four years, until the contract ended and I was offered a job back in the UK. During those four years, we managed to get out of debt completely, and we also sold our house. I now had enough money to pursue my dream of flying.​

Ally and students
Ally and students
Ally and students

How does it feel to be pursuing your passion?

Amazing. There was a period of time after we returned from the Middle East where I had a few months off, between contracts. And it was great to not have to be concerned about finances during this time but just to enjoy my holiday – especially since I’d not had a proper long holiday for the four years we were in the Middle East.

I used this time to read/work through a book by Rick Warren: The Purpose Driven Life. For forty days, you read a chapter every day (you can also, optionally, listen to a daily online message, which I devoured). And the whole point/aim is to identify your purpose – the reason you’re alive right now, in this place, on earth.

Everybody’s created uniquely, with different skillsets, personalities, characters, experiences, passions/dreams, talents, gifts, and so on. You’re the only person at this time, in this place, able to do/be what God has planned for you to do/be – to make a difference in the world. This book helps you discover your purpose. It really does! It helps you realise what will get you out of bed in the morning, what drives you.

After the forty days, I realised that the thing that gets me out of bed in the morning – besides being a musician in a worship band – is flying. I decided from that moment on, I would pursue this dream, despite my age. It’s been life changing.

The fact that I’m earning a salary that pays for my dream is great. Because we’ve got no debt (we rent a house and lease a car), we’re not paying any interest on a credit card, and we owe nothing to nobody… so any additional money we have after paying our bills and buying groceries (and after giving to our church and to charities we support, as well as to the odd cause we stumble upon every now and then), goes towards my PPL.

My dream to be a pilot gets me out of bed at 4:15am every day during the week. It drives me to get to work early and to give excellence, because I know my job is paying for my dream. I want to go to work – because it pays for my dream.

Do you ever worry about the fact that you only have about 12 more years until you retire? Do you ever think that maybe you should be putting any extra money into investments instead of into an expensive dream? And isn’t there an age cap on being a pilot?

No. I mean, I’ve got a bit of money in investments, and I’ll continue to keep adding to that investment pot. But my priority is my pilot licence. I’m not interested in traditional retirement, i.e. sitting in a rocking chair in my old age. I want to fly until I can’t fly anymore. I intend to fly until I die. Thankfully, there’s no age limit. As long as I pass my medical every year, I can fly. If I don’t pursue my dream, I’m not really living.

It’s never too late to start pursuing your dream. And the bigger your dream, the better!

The Rick Warren book says that you are the sum total of your talents and gifts, your unique abilities, experiences, etc. – this makes you the only person who can fulfil the purpose God has for your life. Right?

Correct.

Ally and students

So what do you think is your Ultimate Purpose – your calling?

Flying for Jesus Christ. Flying aid into countries – and telling the world about His love, how much He cares for us, His promises for us…​​​

Ally and students

Photo by Seth Doyle on Unsplash

Is that your ultimate aim – your Big Dream?

Yes. I want to join a group of Christian pilots who transport food, medical supplies, Bibles, etc. into war-torn countries that the UN finds it difficult to get into.

Aren’t you worried about the danger?

When God’s got a purpose for you, that’s it. Everything just falls into place. And it’s only my time to ‘go’ when God says it’s my time.

To be a part of this Christian group, you’ll probably need your own aeroplane, right? How will you afford to buy one?

I have no idea. An aeroplane costs big bucks. But I do know this: When God calls you for something, He’ll equip you; He’ll make a way. If that’s your purpose, He’ll make it happen. And I’m excited to see how God’s going to make it happen. I have no doubt He will because my ultimate goal is to bring people to Jesus.

Why?

In Jesus, I have a Best Friend who helps me through every part of life, no matter how difficult it gets. And I want everyone to experience this amazing Love.

I’m not talking about a religion – following a set of rules. I come from a Catholic – very religious – background; it didn’t work for me. This is a totally different thing. It’s about having a relationship with God.

See, Jesus said He came to give us life – in abundance (John 10:10), and I can testify to that: that’s exactly what I have. Making a decision to follow Him was the best decision I have ever made. It’s a night-and-day difference in my life. And I want to share this free gift with everyone.

And there’s another thing: many people are of the mind that Christians should be poor. But that’s not what the Bible preaches. God tells us in His Word (the Bible) that He blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others (Genesis 12:2-3; Zechariah 8:18-23). I’m not rich, not in financial terms, anyway, but I am ‘comfortable’. If we were still financially poor, I would not be able to afford my pilot training. Then how would I fulfil the dream God has placed on my heart?

Ally and students

Also, there are many instances in the Bible where God makes it clear that He provides all our needs. We should lack nothing. He tells us we should be lenders, not borrowers. We shouldn’t be in debt. Etc. I can give you so many examples of how God has used my financial situation (which He has blessed me with) to bless others: charities we support, international churches we’ve financially assisted, an orphanage, a Bible school, helping homeless people and underprivileged families get on their feet…

Being a born-again Christian (or Follower of Christ) is awesome. I’m not ashamed to admit it. It’s changed my life.

I hear you.

Ally and students

Now, you have a lot of talents and interests, as well as a ton of experience in various industries… What made you choose aviation as your dream above everything? How do you know for sure that becoming a pilot is God’s will for you? Part of His plan?

So many reasons. I just know in my heart it’s what I should be doing. It gives me joy; it fulfils me; and it fits into His Big Dream of reaching out to a broken world – which is proof enough. But I’ll give you an example of one of the confirmations I received along the way.

When I started training, I went to a different flight school than the one I’m currently at. After I’d done my research, I’d decided to go to that flight school as it had very good reviews and it was close to home. And that’s where I met my instructor, Iona. If I had started my training just four months later, I would never have met her as she would have already moved on to the flight school she’s currently at (to which I followed her). And as I previously mentioned, the fact that she has the same dream as me with regard to flying aid into countries, that was enough for me.

And you know what? I don’t miss any of those other things as much as I thought I would. I still get to do most of them, things I enjoy; but they’re hobbies that make life fun. Flying is my passion and I’m willing to work harder at this than I was at any of my other talents. Also, I know that I’m part of a fraternity that not anybody can or wants to do. It’s not easy.​​

It’s scary, too, right? Are you afraid whenever you fly – especially since you’re still pretty new at it and still being trained?

If you’re not scared, then there’s something wrong.

So you feel the fear and do it anyway?

Yes, you have to. And it gives you that edge that you need. That heightened awareness. It’s a healthy fear. Healthy nerves. Because if you become over-confident, that’s where mistakes happen.

What are your top three natural abilities that enable you to be a good pilot, in your opinion?

I’m process-driven, and everything is a process when you’re a pilot. Processes you have to follow in every situation. And I believe in excellence. I go over and over things to make sure they’re correct.

I’m a multi-tasker, which is necessary for a pilot. You’ve got to be able to keep an eye on your surroundings, your controls, your route, etc., all while you’re operating the aircraft.

The ability to think quickly, and outside the box. In an emergency situation, this is vital. To be able to think of alternatives and choose the best one.

What would you say to someone who has always had a dream, but they’ve given up on it because they think they’re too old now – and yet they’re feeling unfulfilled? They’re doing a job that doesn’t make them happy; they feel they have no purpose…

It’s never too late. Age is only a number. And if you’re got that drive and that passion… Yes, you are going to hit brick walls and you are going to stumble. It won’t be easy. But if you have that drive, you can do it. Take it from me. Take it from all the people who – for whatever reason – only started pursuing their dreams later in life. If you have been given the passion, the dream, the purpose by God, there is nothing that can stop you.

If it’s a dream and a passion, follow it. Make the necessary changes. Find ways of making it happen. It will be worthwhile. Find a path. Even if that path takes you off course before you can get back on it again, use what you learn along the way. Decide that nothing will stop you, and just go for it. Because you’re always going to be unhappy if you’re not following your dream or fulfilling your purpose; you’re never going to feel fulfilled. And you end up in those dark places where you might not be able to get out of. There are so many stories of people who ended up depressed, committed suicide… At the same time, there are many stories of people hit by Covid who were let go from their jobs, or who gave up their jobs because they decided to follow their passion. Success might take a while to arrive, but the journey is a very fulfilling one.

I believe that the greatest thing that God has put in any human being is the drive to succeed for a purpose that’s been given to you.

Mark, thank you so much! What an inspiration you are. I truly believe you’ll achieve your dream.

Tweetable TAKEAWAYS:

It’s never too late to start pursuing your dream.

Pursue your passion; make a difference.

If you don’t pursue your dream, are you really LIVING?

Better an OOPS than a What If.

If God calls you, He’ll equip you.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Just so you know…

I don’t receive any reward or commission for promoting any of the people or businesses on my blog. I just want to inspire & motivate as many people as possible to fulfil their purpose & potential.

 If any other key points stood out for you, or you just want to let me know what you thought about this interview, feel free to comment below.

NEXT TIME on The Hopeaholic blog. . .

Inspiration, motivation, hope. You’ll find it all here.

If you subscribe to my monthly news blurb (it’s brief, honest!) you’ll be in the know. wink

Did you enjoy my blog? Please Share the Sunshine. 🙂

CHANGING LANES AFTER 50: how to handle a mid-life career switch

CHANGING LANES AFTER 50: how to handle a mid-life career switch

Alex Doy is a formidable human being.

Having been raised on a farm in Lincolnshire, UK, Alex is no stranger to hard work. This woman’s got grit – tons of it. From the age of nine she was a logistics manager with a checklist a mile long. By the time she hit 16, she was independently forging her way in the world, working various jobs locally and abroad. At age 39 she bought a franchise business. Eight and a half years later she sold it at a profit and purchased a buy-to-let property. For the next three years, to pay the bills, Alex happily took on a smorgasbord of regular part-time jobs.

And now?

Now, at age 52, Alex has changed lanes again. And she’s relishing every minute.

Corporate look

Alex, what persuaded you to purchase a franchise business, and why did you give it up?

I’ve always worked in the service industry in some capacity: from waitressing and bartending to event coordination and management. So when the opportunity arose in 2009 for me to buy my own franchise – the UK’s no. 1 dog-sitting service – I dove in.

My ‘business owner’ journey was fantastic; there were many points I loved about the franchise and I was very successful with it. But it also had some negatives. It nearly killed me.

When I got to the stage where I was completely burnt out, I realised I needed to get out. And also, I was aware of where the business was at that time: it was running at an excellent capacity and it was in a very profitable state. And businesses don’t always remain profitable for any length of time. So I felt it was the right time to sell – and I successfully sold it in 2017.

The moment I stepped away from the dog-care franchise, I made the decision to never again put myself in that position – where it nearly kills you. A lot of that was based on the 24/7 communication that customers now expect in the 21st century.

Good point. So you re-evaluated your life?

Yes. Once I realised that for my mental state I needed to change careers, I vowed not to get caught in that rut again.

What was the result of your life re-evaluation?

I realised I wanted a job without the full responsibility I’d had with my own business. Also, I knew, after driving 22,000 miles a year – as much as I love driving – I was happier to be in a job where I could cycle to work; I get a great deal out of it.

Like a lot of people, I have bills to pay and I solely rely on myself. But although I could have taken on a regular nine-to-five job in Nottingham city and earned good money, I still wanted to be able to step back a bit and not rush straight into something like that. I didn’t want a full-on, fulltime career straight after selling the business. So I decided to mix many roles to make up my working week.

Magically, I was able to create enough hours through different roles. Variety is key! Also, by having several roles, you’re not placing all your eggs in one basket. And in the current climate, that’s very important.

All of the roles were fulfilling in the short term. My main source of income came from being a part-time delivery driver for a local supermarket – a set contracted period of three shifts per week. But the rest of the week was made up of roles I could say yes or no to (an important feature when you’re used to being responsible for yourself), e.g.: working at outdoor catering events, doing weddings, driving cars through a local auction house, event management relief…

Ally grins

Photo by Gabe Pierce on Unsplash

These were all small contracts (a set amount of hours per day or week) where I was providing a service, but it was not my sole responsibility. I was just a part of the team support, and that was important to me. When I left each job at the end of the day, I didn’t give it another thought. For my mental state and peace of mind, this was the break I needed from life. And I pursued this path for three years.

An Empty Head When You Go To Bed.

During those three years you weren’t pursuing your passion, though, right? So what did you do in your time off that made you happy? For example, you woke up every morning and thought: I can’t wait to… today?

Well, because my mind wasn’t so challenged and overly busy as it had been when I was running a business, for a while I just really enjoyed having an empty head. And an empty head when you go to bed is all you’ll ever need.

The role at the supermarket was a means to an end, satisfying enough; it ticked enough boxes. So although, yes, driving for the supermarket wasn’t a massive passion, I got a great deal of satisfaction from what it gave me in life: money to pay my bills, an empty head, time to enjoy various outlets, like running, yoga, kayaking… and the ability to be present.

Throughout the time I had the dog-care business, I was never present in the moment. On holiday, out for dinner with friends, etc. – the phone would be going. There would be a request from a customer and my mind would be elsewhere. And now that I’ve been able to step back from that, I can see it in other people, when they’re doing it with their businesses, and I know I don’t ever want to be in that state again. So the gift from selling the business, and doing a job I wasn’t passionate about for a while, was getting my mental state back to where it should be.

Fit and fab

Photo by Alex Perez on Unsplash

Absolutely. You finally got to live, to be there. That’s so important. We don’t have to keep striving non-stop and be motivated to do, do, do. We’re human beings, after all, not human doings.

Exactly! So, whenever life is not perfect, a certain richness – a quality of life – can always be found in other areas, in other ways of living. And I certainly have gained that. When I read a book now, I enjoy every moment. Whereas, before, my mind would be so filled, I can’t say I absolutely enjoyed the book.

I can’t recommend this enough – this taking time out. Anyone who is feeling burnt out and needs a break can spend at least two or three years enjoying this existence, as long as their ends meet financially…

Until the next challenge enters their mind. Which is what happened to me after three years. The drive came again: to want to do something, but not jump into the same sort of business.

That’s vital, isn’t it? Knowing what you don’t want out of life. There are so many people who haven’t a clue what they want to do – but perhaps a good place to start is: make a list of things you absolutely don’t want to do, or results you don’t want.

Correct. So many feel that the moment they finish one project they must rush on to another, or they’re not valued or successful in some way.

All I can say from experience is: taking time out, two or three years even, and making ends meet with a role that suits you, but also where you can find yourself again, is priceless.

Sage advice. Care to share any more?

It’s important to know: it’s not all about money. And there’s no rush. It will come to you. Because you’re creating the mind space to be able to look out at what’s around you and what’s working.

Well, it certainly worked for you. Tell us how your latest venture came about.

My latest venture, and hopefully my last, came about from trying to replicate some of the good things about the dog-sitting business; aspects I really enjoyed, like driving to different places, being out and about, meeting people, and being responsible for my own work. Also, the freedom the business at times could give you was another vital benefit. But I knew I definitely didn’t want to do something as emotional as the pet-care business.

There was also another important driving force: I lost my dog, Ruby, last year. And I knew that unless I changed my working environment, my goal of getting another dog would not be achievable.

Sometimes people get to junctions in their life where they realise they need to make a change in order to achieve something later in life. I was at that junction. I knew that eventually I couldn’t continue working for someone else, because generally when you’re working for somebody, or a company, you’re restricted in many ways. I knew I couldn’t take a dog to work with me. But if I became self-employed again, I could control my day-to-day routine. And if you want a dog, that’s important.

So I became an inventory clerk for letting agents and property owners.

Zumbalicious
Zumbalicious

That’s quite a change. Where did this idea come from? I get the feeling you didn’t just wake up one morning and think, Ah! I’ll be an inventory clerk!

I’ve always been interested in property, but I knew I didn’t want to become an estate agent, taking on full responsibility for the big picture – because that would put me in the same situation I was in when running my previous business. So I took a good, hard look at other roles in property.

At the same time, I made a list of my skills and strengths, as well as my likes and dislikes. For example: I enjoy working alone and managing my own time and processes; and one of my biggest strengths is logistics.

When did you discover this strength?

In my childhood: I used to go to gymkhanas with my ponies. My mum was a great mother, but she was so busy with my siblings that she would turn up just in time to jump into the car to drive my pony and myself to the competitions. So if I wanted to be on time, I had to do all the necessary work beforehand.

From the age of nine it was my responsibility to get the pony ready, and the equipment packed in the car… I had to make sure I’d packed all the tack – because if you’d just driven twenty miles to a field and you hadn’t got the saddle loaded, your day was over. Consequently, I’ve always had a checklist-type mind that naturally goes through the entire process of what I need.

What other personal strength of yours would you consider essential for an inventory clerk?

An eye for detail. And I’m fortunate: attention to detail comes naturally to me. The second time I spotted this strength was when I was in hospitality. While working in a restaurant, I could spot a salt or pepper pot missing off a table in the furthest corner of the room.

These things pop up in your life that make you realise your strengths. However, at an interview, when people ask me what my weaknesses are, I will also answer: Attention to detail. Because I believe in excellence – but I know it can get on some people’s nerves.

But it’s necessary, right? That’s what makes you stand out from the crowd. Attention to detail is what sets you apart from another inventory clerk who would, for example, forget to note the number of carbon monoxide alarms on their report.

Exactly. And I’m not saying I’m perfect, obviously. But my attention to detail is not forced – it’s easy; it comes naturally to me. I think if you don’t have attention to detail and you want a role that needs it, it would be difficult and forced. And your enjoyment in that respect would be dimmed.

So I took my strengths – logistics, driving, working alone, attention to detail – and my keen interest in property, and put them together. And out came the role: inventory clerk. It just made sense. An inventory clerk is only responsible for a section of property; a fraction of the property-letting process. Which is exactly what I was looking for.

The Key: Do Your Research.

Once you’d decided to become an inventory clerk, what were your next steps?

The first thing that came into my head was: do I need a qualification to do this? And how easy is it to achieve? Whenever you’re changing or starting a career, you need to do it to the right level or your business won’t be successful.

After discovering that there is no ‘Inventory Clerk’ qualification, I thought: well, anyone can do it; you just need to have the knowledge. So I had to find out how to go about learning all there is to know.

While researching a lot of different courses, I took into consideration the way I retain knowledge. (You know how you learn best, so this is one thing to look for: the manner in which the courses are being taught.) At my age, I’m only able to retain a certain amount of information at one time, so I needed a course that provided all the necessary information but also offered ongoing support as things came up.

I think anyone changing career, especially later in life, mustn’t just assume they can go off and do a weekend course and it’ll all come together; there will always be ongoing questions with anything you do.

Once I’d decided which course to do, I then had to purchase the necessary tools: software, the system I would need to use, etc. For guidance on this, I spoke with the course provider, as well as others in the industry.

The Key: do your research. Before I parted with any money, I was put in touch with several people who were already doing inventory work, and I picked their brains. Also, as I’d decided I wanted to be an independent clerk, I had to ring round a few property agents to ask if they ever used or would use independent clerks, or if they had their own in-house team. I needed to get an idea of how much work there was, or if they could ever be swayed into using an independent clerk.

How did you get your first client?

By accident! Before I even had a website, or had properly set myself up. All I had was the name: ADR Inventories.

I’d previously rented out a property through a local estate agent, so I took a chance and asked him if I could possibly get access to some empty properties he may have – just to practise my inventory work. And even though my property is no longer with him, he graciously gave me the opportunity to go and do an inventory report.

Unfortunately, I had an extremely limited time in which to do the report, as the tenant would be moving in rather quickly. In normal circumstances, I would have been very nervous. But as I wasn’t expecting the agent to even look at the report (he already had an inventory clerk he used regularly), I simply went in and did the job to the best of my ability.

I totally expected to keep the report to myself, so when the agent asked for it – and then decided to use it as the sole, official inventory report on that property! – I was elated.

That’s an incredible testimony to your attention to detail, as well as your conscientiousness. And also, a fabulous example of rising to the challenge. Unless you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone and change direction, even slightly, you’re not going to discover your full potential, right?

Right!

Any last nuggets of advice you’d like to share with anyone who hasn’t known from a young age what they want to do – or anyone who hasn’t yet achieved their goals – or for those not content with their career choices?

I would say: first of all, don’t be negative about any of that. Accept that there will be many turns in the road – but they don’t need to be disasters or negatives in your life. You just continually need to do whatever makes you happy.

Re-evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. And as you get older and your wishes change, be prepared to sit and evaluate and decide to change course.

They may not be dramatic changes but just things you can do without, and things you want in life. Those are what you pursue.

And know that this is a positive thing. So instead of sitting in a negative job, thinking, I’m too old; or worrying about other people’s opinions or approval or disapproval… know that you have lots of other choices.

Take strengths and weaknesses out of every role, and think about what you’ve learned along the way. None of this is negative.

I think it’s important to note that mine was a very mild-mannered change. I didn’t go from being a street sweeper to a brain surgeon. I don’t find what I’ve done to be amazing. It’s more a case of being prepared to reflect – and I’m at a stage in life where I’m ready to reflect on, and accept, what I like and don’t like.

What I’ve done isn’t earth-shattering. I’m just continually searching for what gives me that empty head before bed. That’s all I’m ever trying to achieve.

Alex, thank you so much for your time. I’m looking forward to coming back in a year’s time to see how ADR Inventories has grown, and to find out if you’re still enjoying life and being present – or if it’s time to take another break and start a new venture.

I hope not! This role is taking me into my dotage.

Tweetable TAKEAWAYS:

Look after your mental state; take time out.

Pursue your passion, follow your heart.

An empty head when you go to bed is all you ever need. 🙂 

You’re a human BEING, not a human ‘doing’. Be present. Stop. Breathe. Live!

Just so you know…

I don’t receive any reward or commission for promoting any of the people or businesses on my blog. I just want to inspire & motivate as many people as possible to fulfil their purpose & potential.

 If any other key points stood out for you, or you just want to let me know what you thought about this interview, feel free to comment below.

NEXT MONTH on The Hopeaholic blog. . .

A 53-year-old man who’s only just begun to pursue his Big Dream.

Inspiration, motivation, hope. You’ll find it all here.

If you subscribe to my monthly news blurb (it’s brief, honest!) you’ll be in the know. wink

Did you enjoy my blog? Please Share the Sunshine. 🙂

How To Live Full and Die Empty

How To Live Full and Die Empty

‘I came here because I want you to die…’

No, that’s not a line spoken by a James Bond villain. It’s the opening of a leadership talk by the late, great Dr Myles Munroe.

The moment he said those words, the audience’s nervous laughter rumbled around the auditorium. Dr Munroe smiled, then chuckled. Then his face took on an earnest look as he finished the sentence: ‘Empty… I want you to die empty.’

I had the privilege of meeting Dr Munroe, and hearing him speak, at a Leadership Conference many years ago. The best-selling author, transformational leader and teacher was passionate about people maximising their potential: living full & dying empty.

Before you read further…

YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS this 5-min. INSPIRATIONAL BITE:

WOW, right? I love how he starts with: ‘The wealthiest place on earth is not…’

And then, when he revealed the richest place on the planet – were you as astounded as I was?

How fired up are you right now? Every time I listen to one of Dr Munroe’s talks, or read his books, I am inspired, motivated and challenged to KEEP GOING – keep dreaming – and fulfil my potential.

Is that what you want?

I hope so. Because, if you’ve read my blog post on WORTH, you will know that:

No one else will ever be able to play your role on this earth in this lifetime.

You are the only one who can fulfil your purpose – a purpose as special, as unique, as you are. And you know what’s amazing? Once you start living on purpose, YOU will be fulfilled! You will wake up every day and JUMP out of bed, eager to get to work.

‘The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose.’ Dr Myles Munroe

Are you bored with life? Depressed with your work situation? Lacking joie de vivre?

Time to change things up. Discover your purpose and I promise you, you will have a new lease on life.

And by the way…

As long as you’re still breathing, IT’S NEVER TOO LATE.

This is coming from a 50-year-old Dreamer who has yet to achieve her life goals. Then again, I am hooked on hope.

Because, you see, I know that…

It’s all about timing.

Some people can handle success at an early age. Many cannot.

What if you’re meant to grow first? What if you’re not ready for success just yet? Ever thought about that? There are countless stories of people who became successful – and weren’t ready for it. The result? They fell. Hard. And then the arduous uphill climb began. Or didn’t.

I can think of at least ten child actors for whom fame came way too soon. It nearly destroyed them. And that’s just an arbitrary example. There are so many people in various careers who’ve achieved success – and with it, wealth and fame – and they weren’t ready. (By the way, success doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with gaining money, power or fame.)

Some gave up entirely. They left home and started living on the streets. Others turned to crime. Others ended up in the wealthiest place on earth – and never, ever realised it.

Others dusted themselves off, swallowed their pride, and started again.

Then what happened?

They grew. And became successful again. This time, though, they were ready.

Still think you’re too old? That your time has passed?

Think again.

There are many stories about people who only achieved success later in life. But a lot of these stories, I’ve found, skew the truth. They neglect to mention that many of these people had some type of privilege – the right schools, money, contacts… All of which make a huge difference.

I’m not saying these people didn’t work hard to achieve their dreams, or that they didn’t deserve the fame. Not at all. They’re just not relatable to me.

Maybe you feel the same way? Maybe you, like me, prefer the stories about people who had none of those privileges. Because then…

Anything is possible.

Here are three of those stories…

 

Laura Ingalls Wilder was a wife, mother and teacher who longed to be an author. But she only began writing at 43.

Although she received rejection after rejection from publishers, she refused to quit. She kept on writing, improving her craft.

At age 65, she fulfilled her dream: Little House in the Big Woods was published. From that book came the best-selling ‘Little House’ series, followed by the successful TV series, Little House on the Prairie.

 

Kathryn Joosten had always wanted to be an actress; however, she became a nurse instead, to support her family.

And then her marriage ended. As a newly single, 42-year-old mother, she decided it was time to follow her bliss. She took on odd jobs and started out in community theatre. Many years of hard work, bit parts, ups and downs, disappointments, and a ton of rejections followed. Until she risked it all. She relocated to Hollywood – at the age of 56.

People called her crazy. She had no agent and no connections whatsoever. But she had a dream. And she also had the vivid memory of her mother dying with the angry regret of not having pursued her dream.

The gamble paid off. Within five months, Kathryn started acting regularly on TV shows. Success followed. At the age of 60, she got her big break. And at 65, she became a household name, having landed the recurring role of Mrs McCluskey in Desperate Housewives – for which she won two Emmy awards.

 

‘Grandma Moses’ was a farmer’s wife who spent decades selling homemade food to support her big family.

She was 58 when she started dabbling in painting; and her first materials were a piece of fireboard and leftover house paint. Art was merely a hobby she enjoyed in her spare time, until, at 67, she started devoting more time to her craft.

Her big break arrived when she was 78. An art collector saw Moses’s work in a local shop – and bought every piece. Success followed. This self-taught artist began exhibiting professionally, her paintings gained popularity, and she followed her bliss until her death at age 101.

Her paintings now sell for over $1 million.

 

I have to apologise. These three stories are female-biased. But there are many, many more out there. Just Google and you’ll see. Then again, keep reading. Men get their turn, too, later in this post.

These women were determined to fulfil their dreams. That’s what kept them going. They raised families and worked at ‘ordinary’ jobs. And they pursued their passion in their spare moments. They sacrificed time and luxuries. Because the pursuit of their bliss fulfilled them, filled them with joy, and gave them purpose.

They kept going until they had completed their work, refined their craft; until they had something to show. And then opportunity knocked. And they were ready.

Are you ready?

That collection of artwork – have you completed it?

That novel or that non-fiction book – have you finished writing it? Not just the first draft, but the polished, ready-for-publishing, proofread, brilliant final draft?

That invention that, once completed, is going to be a world-changer? That idea that popped into your mind one day and won’t leave? The answer to poverty; the cure for a disease; the solution to homelessness…

Keep working at it. Because what if opportunity surprises you one day by knocking on your door – or window – and you’re not ready?

Don’t NOT be ready.

‘There is a treasure within you that must come out. Don’t go to the grave with your treasure still within you.’ Dr Myles Munroe

Build it. Finish your work. Keep going, despite failures, disappointments, setbacks. Start emptying out that treasure inside of you. Then opportunity will come.

Now I know there will always be those who feel they have no special purpose. But I can assure you, that’s just not possible. If you’re feeling unfulfilled but you don’t have a burning desire to follow a particular dream, or you’re asking yourself how you can possibly fulfil your potential when you haven’t a clue what it could be… I urge you to read The Purpose Driven Life – Rick Warren’s bestseller. It’s a life changer.

And here’s something for you to think about…

It’s possible that your purpose isn’t clear to you yet – because the world isn’t ready for it.

In which case, I’d be pretty darn excited.

DID YOU KNOW…?

Photo by Ying Ge on Unsplash

All you need is one groundbreaking idea.

C.S. Lewis was 16 when, out of nowhere, a picture popped into his head: a faun carrying parcels and an umbrella in a snowy wood. He did nothing with it until decades later, when this image became the starting point for The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe – the first book in the wildly successful Chronicles of Narnia series.

J.K. Rowling’s lightbulb moment happened on a train. The picture of a young boy wizard just appeared in her mind. Like magic. And the Harry Potter series was born.

Dr James Watson won a Nobel Prize for his 1953 ‘discovery’: that the structure of DNA is a double helix spiral. This was a feat other scientists had found impossible. But the answer – an image of a spiral staircase – had come to Dr Watson in a dream.

Niels Bohr had a vivid dream in which he was sitting on the sun, watching the planets hiss around him on tiny cords. His gut instinct told him the image was the nucleus of the atom with electrons revolving around it in prescribed orbits. After dedicating his research to proving his theory, he won a Nobel Prize.

Jack Nicklaus, the six-time Masters champion, was experiencing a slump when he had a dream he was playing golf better than ever. On waking, he realised his dream self had gripped the golf club differently than he did in reality. Mimicking the dream grip vastly improved his golf swing, and he came back with a vengeance.

 

I hope those inspirational bites are as motivating to you as they are to me. As you work on discovering your purpose – so you can live full and die empty – may I suggest something?

Whatever circumstances you find yourself in, use them. Use whatever time you have to Dream, Plan, Visualise. And then figure out a way to make it happen.

A final thought…

EXPECT FAILURE.

Photo by Ying Ge on Unsplash

Actually, scratch that.

Embrace failure!

Because how will you know you’ve succeeded unless you’ve failed a few times?

Ask me, I know. I’ve failed over and over again. In a variety of ways. You can read about a few of them. Just click on any of the four links on my WORK page.

A lot of my failures are not that obvious. But the fact remains: I’ve been pursuing my dreams from an early age and I’ve not achieved them yet.

Do you find yourself in the same boat?

Be encouraged by this guy:

‘I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.Michael Jordan (aka ‘the greatest basketball player of all time’).

 

Go on. Grab life with both hands.

Live full…

So you can die empty.

With Love,

Vx

Tweetable TAKEAWAYS:

The wealthiest place on earth is the graveyard.

No one else will ever be able to play your role on this earth in this lifetime. 

‘The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose.’ Dr Myles Munroe

Timing is Everything.

Anything is possible.

The only real regret is not having tried.

EMBRACE FAILURE.

If any other key points stood out for you, or you just want to let me know what you thought about this post, feel free to comment below.

NEXT TIME on The Hopeaholic blog: 

More uplifting content!

If you subscribe to my monthly news blurb (it’s free, and brief, honest!) you’ll be in the know. wink

Links to all my previous blog posts can be found on the main BLOG PAGE.

 

Did you enjoy my blog? Please Share the Sunshine. 🙂

Finding My Father — a true story

Finding My Father — a true story

I’m often asked why I’m so darn happy all the time.

I always find this funny because, well, I’m not. How can I be? I am human, after all. I experience deep emotional pain; I sob my heart out; I am no stranger to the lure of depression. However, I do have something…

An incomprehensible, inexplicable, deep-seated, everlasting JOY that never ever leaves me – no matter what life throws my way. (And it hasn’t all been Champagne and roses, I assure you.)

Here’s my story.

Up until the age of eight, I had the best childhood. Life was great, and both my parents were loving and caring. Then, out of the blue, they asked me, ‘Who do you want to live with?’

What a ridiculous question. Of course I replied: ‘I want to live with both of you.’

It was impossible for my young brain to comprehend that they were getting divorced. When they explained they would no longer be living together and then told me I’d have to choose with whom I wanted to stay, I cried my little heart out.

Eventually, I decided that because my dad had another daughter (from a previous marriage), but my mom didn’t have anyone except me, I would go and live with her. But it was a tough decision; I loved them both so much.

Within a year they were divorced. 

And my dad cut off all contact.

After a blissful childhood, where my mom and I had had more than enough, suddenly she was a single mother and I was a fatherless child.

The worst part was: my dad was still in touch with my stepsister. She not only received birthday and Christmas presents but she also got to spend holidays with him. I didn’t even get a phone call.

I couldn’t understand it. After much deliberation, I concluded it was because I’d done something wrong. Because I’d chosen my mother over him, maybe? But no one explained anything to me.

I was hurting. Of course I was. But I was not broken. Because something had happened a couple of years before that had prepared me for this.

Something that would impact the rest of my life.

I’ll come back to that.

My mom soon remarried. But her new husband was not a father to me.

The next seven years were emotionally and psychologically challenging. Our house never felt like a home.

Then: a revelation.

Just before I turned sixteen, my mom revealed that the man I’d called ‘dad’ was not my real father.

I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped to the floor.

Tears cascaded down my mom’s face as she told me she’d married my ‘dad’ when I was two years old, and he had adopted me. My real father was someone she’d loved very much when she was nineteen; and he’d moved away before she knew she was pregnant.

My mother was embarrassed and upset. She’d kept this from me for sixteen years and had no idea how I’d react.

Me? I was overjoyed! It was like finding treasure! First of all, the ‘dad’ who had abandoned me wasn’t even my father, so it didn’t really count. Secondly, I had a real dad out there somewhere who didn’t even know I existed. I was thrilled.

The last my mom had heard, my real dad was living in Johannesburg, South Africa. It was quite a while ago. No internet or mobile phones. Imagine! As we were living almost 1,000 miles away, in Cape Town, and we didn’t have a car – and public transport and flights were too expensive to consider – there wasn’t much I could do about this revelation at the time. However, I was content to wait.

I was nineteen when I finally met my biological father.

I’ll get back to that in a moment. Remember I mentioned that something happened a couple of years before my ‘dad’ and mom split up? It was – and always will be – the most significant event of my entire life.

When I was six, my aunt Margaret said to me, ever so casually, ‘Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour?’

Just like that. Like she was asking what sandwich filling I’d like.

Now I have to clarify: my aunt was not wanting to know if I was interested in joining a religion. She was asking if I had a relationship. With God.

Bear with me… 

I knew about Jesus because I went to Sunday School. (I think my mom sent me every week so she could get some peace and quiet.) I knew Jesus was God’s Son, and that He loved me so much that He came to earth as a man to die for my sins; and then He rose from the dead and went back to Heaven. So saying yes to a relationship with God was an easy decision.

We knelt right there and then, on the floor, and she led me in a simple prayer, and I gave my life over to Jesus. And at that very moment, I became a child of God. He adopted me as His daughter and became my Heavenly Father. Best of all, He promised He would never, ever abandon me.

In His Word, the Bible, God says, The moment you accept My Son, Jesus, you become My child – no matter how old you are – and I’m your Father in Heaven. Forever.

Even though I didn’t have the greatest examples of dads, I had God as my ‘Papa’ from a very young age.

Without Him I would not be alive today.

That’s the honest truth.

God is amazing. His timing is always perfect. He knows every detail of our lives, from beginning to end. He knew the divorce was coming, so He ensured I had a perfect Heavenly Father to take the place of an imperfect earthly dad before I even realised I needed Him.

He knew that at the tender age of ten, my childhood would be stripped away. So He made sure I knew Him, so I could turn to my Papa God for comfort and healing.

I went through a lot of ‘stuff’, especially in my teenage years.

Several times I seriously considered suicide.

But God carried me through every single moment of my life – and He still does.

The past few years have been filled with challenging seasons; there have been many dark days. But God always gives me the strength to endure anything that comes my way.

See, He’s promised to work ALL THINGS – every detail of my life – into something good. And I believe Him.

And you know what else? He even gave me the love and forgiveness for the men who abandoned me, the men who let me down… And I mean total forgiveness. 

Do you have any idea how free I feel? It’s wonderful!

The most important thing is: I have peace.

Peace that surpasses all understanding.

Throughout my life, God has been there as my Heavenly Father. Whatever He’s allowed me to go through has only served to make me stronger. So when I found out that my real dad was out there somewhere, I was OK to wait on God’s perfect timing.

Almost four years later…

I was nineteen and had just arrived in Johannesburg to be a missionary with a performance group. So, I picked up a telephone directory (no Google, remember?) and looked up the name my mom had given me. And there it was; the only one. It had to be him.

Feverishly I wrote a four-page letter: my life in a nutshell. I ended it by saying that I didn’t want to mess up his life. I knew nothing about him. For all I knew he had a family of his own, and I could just imagine how life-wrecking a nineteen year old turning up on your doorstep and claiming she’s your daughter could be. So I said I just wanted to see him, to meet him once. And then he could go on with his life. I was OK with that. I told him that I didn’t harbour any ill toward him; I understood that he didn’t know I existed.

Three days after I posted the letter, I received a phone call.

I will never forget that call. His voice was like honey. He was in shock. The conversation started with him saying, ‘But I don’t have a daughter.’ And at the end of the conversation he stated, ‘I have a daughter!’

It was a magical, unforgettable moment.

We arranged to meet, and he brought his wife and their two little boys. It felt surreal. We stood staring at each other for a long time.

Meanwhile, my heart was beating like it was trying to escape.

His wife was the first to speak. All she said, with no doubt in her voice, and a serene smile, was: ‘This is your daughter.’

I cannot tell you how overjoyed I was.

And guess what?

The timing of all of this was perfect!

Firstly, the letter arrived on the last day the postman would deliver to my dad’s street. From the day after, it would be post boxes only. And as no other address had been listed in the directory, if I had mailed my letter even one day later, I can’t say it would have got to him.

Secondly, my dad and his wife had just come through a rough patch. If that letter had arrived any earlier, they weren’t sure their relationship would have been strong enough to handle it.

When my dad explained all this to me, I smiled. God is amazing. He never comes too early or too late.

And the best was yet to come.

No earthly dad is ever going to be perfect, but I can’t imagine a more fabulous human dad than mine. He is amazing. And his wife is so much more than I could ever have hoped for: my best friend, older sister, mother, spiritual counsellor, all rolled into one. She’s beautiful, inside and out, and the relationship I have with them is incredible.

So that’s why I’m so darn ‘happy’ all the time. Because…

I am grateful.

I have been blessed, blessed, blessed by God. And I don’t deserve any of it.

My Heavenly Father, out of no motivation except pure love, looks after me, looks out for me, and brings me back to Him whenever I stray off the path. He is unfathomably compassionate and kind and the most perfect ‘Dad’ ever.

The reason I’ve shared this? I just want you to know: Whoever you are, whatever you’ve done – you are loved by the Creator of the universe. He loves you so much, He sent His only Son, Jesus, a perfect man, to die a horrific, undeserved death – so that you can have a FULL life; life in abundance!

I promise you – no matter what your circumstances are – if you hand the reins of your life over to Jesus, He will turn things around for you. I’m talking:

A night-and-day difference.

No matter what you are going through, what you’ve been through, what’s ahead – you have a sure way to endure it all and to come out the other end stronger than before. Ask me, I know.

Surrendering your life to Jesus Christ is the best decision you will ever make. I’ve never regretted it.

As if that’s not enough, when your short time on earth comes to an end, if Jesus is your Lord & Saviour, you are assured of Eternal Life in Heaven. This is God’s free gift. You just have to take it.

As Paul the apostle says in one of his letters: ‘These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us.’ (2 Corinthians 4:17, The Message translation of the Bible)

So now you know why I’m so darn ‘happy’ all the time:

I’m a prisoner of hope.

A hope-aholic.

And there’s no reason you can’t be too.

This song pretty much sums it all up.

With Love,

Vx

P.S. If you have trouble thinking of God as a Good, Loving Father, I highly recommend The Shack (movie or book — they’re both amazing). Watch the trailer.

Have you made a decision to follow Jesus? I would love to hear about your journey! Share your story or a part of it in the comments section, below.

If you want to know more, please do get in touch. I’d love to introduce you to my Best Friend.

Tweetable TAKEAWAYS:

‘In ALL things God works for the GOOD of those who love Him.’ Romans 8:28

God’s timing is perfect.

God’s love is UNCONDITIONAL.

Jesus is the Way, the Truth, the Life.

#livinglifetothefullest

‘”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; to give you a hope and a future.”‘ Jeremiah 29:11

God is the only One who will never let you down.

If any other key points stood out for you, or you just want to let me know what you thought about this post, feel free to comment below.

NEXT TIME on The Hopeaholic blog: 

More uplifting content!

If you subscribe to my monthly news blurb (it’s free, and brief, honest!) you’ll be in the know. wink

Links to all my PREVIOUS BLOG POSTS can be found on the BLOG PAGE.

 

Did you enjoy my blog? Please Share the Sunshine. 🙂

How Much Are You Worth?

How Much Are You Worth?

*Salvator Mundi is the most expensive painting in the world.

Leonardo da Vinci created this work of art (not shown in this article due to copyright laws) sometime between 1490 and 1510. It disappeared from public records for many decades; and by the time it resurfaced, it had suffered so much damage, it was undervalued.

Mistaken for a copy – and at one point, transported in a plastic garbage bag! – this original masterpiece sold at Sotheby’s in 1958 for a mere £45.

The moment its originality was no longer called into question, the painting’s value soared.

The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia purchased Salvator Mundi for $450.3 million.

bin bag

How much are YOU worth?

upset

I’m not talking net worth, as in how much you have in your bank accounts or in fixed assets.

I’m talking your true VALUE, in the big scheme of things.

The other day, a friend of mine broke down in tears. Her daughter’s selfishness had hurt her deeply. In that same week, her husband had said unkind things to her. Feeling unloved and unappreciated, she was at an all-time low.

My heart went out to her. She has no idea how amazing she is. This woman is one of the most generous, caring, loving people I know. She finds her worth in the giving of her time, of herself, to her family and her friends. So when her love is not reciprocated in a way she needs it to be, naturally she feels insignificant, devastated . . .

Worthless.

This made me wonder: Hey, how many others are feeling the same way?

Too many women and men are wading through life without realising their true value.

Are you one of them?

DID YOU KNOW . . .

When you allow other people to validate you – to determine your worth – you will always be disappointed.

We human beings all have BUNDLES OF FLAWS and imperfections. Not one of us is perfect. So we will, at some time or other, let people down. And they will, in turn, disappoint us. It’s human nature.

So what’s the answer?

How about . . .

Appreciating who you really are. Understanding your actual worth.

Hear me out.

You – yes, you – are a one-of-a-kind original work of art.

You are worth so much more than that $450.3 million Old Master painting, or any other artwork made by man (or woman).

You are priceless.

Believe it. Because you were created by the Master Creator of Old Masters.

Woah! I hear you say, I don’t believe in God.

OK, then. How about science?

Science has proven that you are unique. Special. Invaluable.

One in a million . . .

Or to be more accurate: you are 1 in 7.9 billion!

There is no one like you on this earth. Never has been; never will be.

Not even if you’re a twin or a septuplet.

9 UNIQUE PHYSICAL TRAITS distinguish you from everyone else.

Your fingerprints are distinctive, as I’m sure you know. But did you know that the chance of two people having the same fingerprint is 1 in 64 billion?

Pretty awesome, considering the earth’s current population is only 7.9 billion.

toe prints

Your toe prints are just as unique.

Your palm print sets you apart.

hand print
iris

Photo by Colin Lloyd on Unsplash

Your irises (the coloured rings around the pupil of your eye) have distinctive complex patterns, and not one eye colour is exactly the same as another.

They’re even more unique than your fingerprints!

 

If you read or watch crime novels or series, you’ll already know that you can be identified by your bite.

Your teeth are like no one else’s.

bite mark

Photo by Amr Taha™ on Unsplash

bite mark

 

Your tongue.

Every single person possesses a unique tongue print.

Weird but true.

 

Your kiss has got to be pretty special too, because your lips are a one-of-a-kind pair.

 

Your ears are shaped differently to everyone else’s.

Not even identical twins have the same ears.

 

Finally, your heartbeat.

Yes. Every single person on earth has a completely unique heartbeat.

Pretty symbolic, don’t you think?

You are special: inside and out.

 

It’s plain to see.

Your body was formed with care and love, and incredible attention to detail.

As was every part of your being.

Purpose Driven Life

 

In Rick Warren’s phenomenal bestselling book, The Purpose Driven Life, he delves even deeper, to show us just how unique we are, outside and in.

You are set apart from others by a unique combination of:

    • Your talents, gifts and abilities

    • Your heart (your passions, desires, interests, hopes and dreams)

 

    • Your personality (introvert/extrovert; sanguine/driver, etc.)

 

    • Your experiences (your family, education, vocation, etc.)

 

All of these traits together make YOU unique — and shape you for a special purpose.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Think of who you are in your entirety, and realise:

You are special.

There will never ever be another you.

You are not a mistake or an accident.

You have a purpose.

There is a reason you are alive.

 

This is important to remember. Because whenever you compare yourself to others, or wait on others for validation or appreciation, you’re forgetting something:

No one else will ever be able to play your role on this earth in this lifetime.

 

Read that again.

 

Once this sinks in, you will begin to get an inkling of just how invaluable, how priceless you are.

Unsplash pic

So, please, whenever you feel unloved, unappreciated, undervalued, unworthy . . .

Look in the mirror and see WHO YOU REALLY ARE:

A rare work of art.

A diamond.

A masterpiece.

Every morning you should remind yourself of these things. You are special. You are so loved.

And if you do believe in God, you’ll know:

You are WORTH DYING FOR.

Don’t take my word for it. Take this guy’s.

(By the way, this can be applied to MEN TOO. wink)

With Love,

Vx

P.S. Can you think of anyone who could benefit from hearing this message? Go on, then: share this blog post with them. Be an encourager. Let them know just how special they are.

 

♦  ♦  ♦  ♦  ♦

 

*Salvator Mundi (translation: Saviour of the World) depicts Jesus Christ holding the world in His hand. See the painting & read the Guardian article.

More in-depth reading into just how special you are:

Read this AtlasBiomed article.

Sources & Recommended reading:

The Purpose Driven Life – Rick Warren (found in all good bookstores & on Amazon)

This Health Digest article.

For more encouragement, follow @jonjorgenson on Instagram.

Tweetable TAKEAWAYS:

Never let anyone mistake you for a copy. You are a one-of-a-kind original work of art. 

Allowing others to determine your worth ensures your disappointment. 

You are one in 7.9 billion!

There will never be another you. Live like you believe it.

You are worth dying for.

Be an encourager. Be kind. Be love.

FYI…

I don’t receive any reward/commission for promoting any of the people, businesses or charities on my blog. I just want to inspire & motivate as many people as possible to fulfil their purpose & potential.

If any other key points stood out for you, or you just want to let me know what you thought about this post, feel free to comment below.

NEXT TIME on The Hopeaholic blog: 

More uplifting content!

If you subscribe to my monthly news blurb (it’s free, and brief, honest!) you’ll be in the know. wink

Links to all my PREVIOUS BLOG POSTS can be found on the BLOG PAGE.

 

Did you enjoy my blog? Please Share the Sunshine. 🙂

THIS IS WHAT A PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE LOOKS LIKE. . .

THIS IS WHAT A PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE LOOKS LIKE. . .

‘I find myself wanting to say something profound, but Haven of Hope makes me speechless! There are no words to describe just how awesome this place, these people and these horses are.’

Haven of Hope team

Haven of Hope Equine Aid Centre in Brackenfell, South Africa, offers horse riding and horse-related activities for children with disabilities, special needs or trauma.

Founding member, Maryke du Boisson, runs the stable of eight equines with the assistance of horse groom, Lamec. A team of extremely devoted volunteers assists with the riding.

equine therapy

Maryke, how did Haven of Hope come about? 

Many years ago I was a student at the University of Stellenbosch and a member of their horse riding club. We once had a group from Huis Horison (a Home for individuals with primary intellectual disability) come for horse riding. I was amazed at the horses’ gentle and accommodating attitude towards our guests (they could be quite a handful at times), and I realised that something very special was happening between our guests and the horses. That’s where my dream began. If I could devote my life to bringing horses and special needs individuals together… 

A dream for which I did not have the resources. 

For many years I was sidetracked by the issues and responsibilities of life, while struggling with God about what His specific call for my life was. I had this dream, this passion, but no money, no horses, and no special training. 

Many times I asked the Lord to take this dream away from me, and for a while it seemed He did, only to bring it back even stronger than before. He confirmed the vision to me through Scripture, people, and even a radio broadcast! 

In 2010 things started coming together. And on 9 February 2011 my friend, Juanita, and I adopted the first two horses from the SPCA and started with one special needs rider. 

boy and horse
HoH horse riding

How they have blossomed through the love of a hoofed friend!

Any memorable moments you’d like to share? 

Right at the beginning, someone in KwaZulu-Natal offered to donate two horses to us. Getting them down to Brackenfell, however, took almost a year. Therefore, in the interim, we adopted two from the SPCA. 

Usually when looking for a horse, their temperament, size, and age would be some of the important things to keep in mind. Yet when I heard about these two gift horses, all I wanted to know was, ‘What are their names?’ What they looked like didn’t matter to me at all! 

I had to wait months for the reply. And when it finally arrived, via email on my birthday… I almost fell off my chair. 

The mare’s name was Thembi and the gelding was called Jabu. I was dumbstruck. God could not have given me greater confirmation that we were doing His will with this project. I knew enough Xhosa to realise that Thembi meant Hope — and Jabu meant Joy or Praise. I then realised why I’d been so adamant to know their names. God is so faithful. Since then, Thandi (Love) and Musa (Mercy/Kindness) have also joined our team. 

Any memorable moments you’d like to share? 

Right at the beginning, someone in KwaZulu-Natal offered to donate two horses to us. Getting them down to Brackenfell, however, took almost a year. Therefore, in the interim, we adopted two from the SPCA. 

Usually when looking for a horse, their temperament, size, and age would be some of the important things to keep in mind. Yet when I heard about these two gift horses, all I wanted to know was, ‘What are their names?’ What they looked like didn’t matter to me at all! 

I had to wait months for the reply. And when it finally arrived, via email on my birthday… I almost fell off my chair. 

The mare’s name was Thembi and the gelding was called Jabu. I was dumbstruck. God could not have given me greater confirmation that we were doing His will with this project. I knew enough Xhosa to realise that Thembi meant Hope — and Jabu meant Joy or Praise. I then realised why I’d been so adamant to know their names. God is so faithful. Since then, Thandi (Love) and Musa (Mercy/Kindness) have also joined our team. 

HoH horse riding

How they have blossomed through the love of a hoofed friend!

Tell us about a few of the children for whom HoH has made a difference. 

J, an eight-year-old boy with cerebral palsy and blindness, has been riding with us for the past four years. For months he cried every time he was on a horse. The farm sounds, our voices, and the movement of the horses were new and terrifying to him. Hats off to his dad who persisted, continuing to bring him every Saturday. Today J loves horse riding! His laughter while on horseback is so contagious, one cannot help but laugh with him for joy. 

E, an eight-year-old girl with physical disabilities as well as heart failure, is passionate about horses and aspires to assist me in caring for them in the future. Her smile — her joy and passion for life — is so humbling. 

Some of the foster kids who have come to us have at first been fearful, angry, unsure… How they have blossomed through the love and care of a hoofed friend! 

horses bring joy
equine peace

When God has called you for a purpose, He will provide all you need.

What advice would you give to those who aspire to make a big difference? 

Don’t try to do it alone. There were so many aspects of starting up and registering as a non-profit organisation (NPO) and public-benefit organisation (PBO) that we did not have a clue. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance. It is good to have a team around you for insight and support.

And remember, when God calls you for something specific, He is the one who qualifies you — not the standards or expectations of this world. 

 

Did you require any specific education for this role? 

Although my passion for, and years of involvement with, horses is definitely an advantage, I am not a therapist; therefore we only offer informal riding and socialisation with the horses in a safe environment on the farm. Our riders benefit from the interaction with horses as well as the riding.

What advice would you give to those who aspire to make a big difference? 

Don’t try to do it alone. There were so many aspects of starting up and registering as a non-profit organisation (NPO) and public-benefit organisation (PBO) that we did not have a clue. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance. It is good to have a team around you for insight and support.

And remember, when God calls you for something specific, He is the one who qualifies you — not the standards or expectations of this world. 

 

Did you require any specific education for this role? 

Although my passion for, and years of involvement with, horses is definitely an advantage, I am not a therapist; therefore we only offer informal riding and socialisation with the horses in a safe environment on the farm. Our riders benefit from the interaction with horses as well as the riding.

equine peace

When God has called you for a purpose, He will provide all you need.

What was your steepest learning curve? 

Trusting God for finances. This is still an issue sometimes. Also: trusting Him to send us the right horses for our needs.

In the beginning, Juanita and I selected horses we thought would be suitable for special needs riders. (God had to work quite a bit on our pride as we liked the good-looking, flashy ones.) None of those worked out, and they had to be rehomed. But those horses that were donated to us, the ones we thought would never work, were exactly the ones God had chosen and sent. 

 

Any nuggets of wisdom for people struggling with trusting God? 

For anyone who confesses Jesus as their Saviour, as we do, God is their/our Heavenly Father. He supplies all our needs. So it is mostly a daily confession of a lack of faith; and laying everything at His feet again. 

Don’t look to people and what they can offer; people will come and go in your life. When God has called you for a purpose, He will provide all that you need. Trusting that Haven of Hope is His, we know He knows our needs, and we recognise that He often supplies in different ways than expected.

equine care
feeding time

Where does the financial support come from? 

We rely completely on donations. We do not break even every month; often the volunteers or board members (of which I am one) need to chip in to keep us afloat. 

 

How did COVID-19 affect Haven of Hope? 

Unfortunately we lost some of our regular sponsors who could no longer contribute. But since we do not charge for our services (we only ask for donations), we were not dependent on rider income during the pandemic. The horses missed the interaction with the children, however, and of course the apples and carrots!

Where does the financial support come from? 

We rely completely on donations. We do not break even every month; often the volunteers or board members (of which I am one) need to chip in to keep us afloat. 

 

How did COVID-19 affect Haven of Hope? 

Unfortunately we lost some of our regular sponsors who could no longer contribute. But since we do not charge for our services (we only ask for donations), we were not dependent on rider income during the pandemic. The horses missed the interaction with the children, however, and of course the apples and carrots!

feeding time

Who are Haven of Hope’s greatest supporters? 

Afreshventure Durbanville provides us with eight bags of drought feed every month; Indwe Risk Services sponsors 50% of our public indemnity & liability insurance premium; our church makes a small monthly financial contribution; and parents and volunteers often assist with building or fixing paddocks, shelters or any work that has to be done. 

Pre-COVID we organised workdays where people could sign up for a variety of tasks that needed to be done such as fixing paddocks, tack cleaning, building projects, etc. We would all pitch in and do the work, and then braai (BBQ) together. By the end of the day we’d be bushed, but joyful for all that had been done. I love the Haven of Hope family and miss our workdays. 

breast cancer awareness
horse riding

How can the public help? 

We are always grateful for donations of, or funding for, horse feed (oat hay, teff and lucerne). And always looking for volunteers who can assist regularly with riding, feeding the horses, and, every second weekend when the groom is off duty, cleaning of paddocks.

We need businesses to get involved as well. (All financial donations are tax deductible as we are registered with SARS as a Section 18A organisation.)

 

Maryke, you are such an inspiration: a true example of a purpose-driven life. May God mightily bless you & Haven of Hope!

 

READERS: If you’d like to know more, or if you want to support Haven of Hope, pop onto their FACEBOOK page.

How can the public help? 

We are always grateful for donations of, or funding for, horse feed (oat hay, teff and lucerne). And always looking for volunteers who can assist regularly with riding, feeding the horses, and, every second weekend when the groom is off duty, cleaning of paddocks.

We need businesses to get involved as well. (All financial donations are tax deductible as we are registered with SARS as a Section 18A organisation.)

 

Maryke, you are such an inspiration: a true example of a purpose-driven life. May God mightily bless you & Haven of Hope!

 

READERS: If you’d like to know more, or if you want to support Haven of Hope, pop onto their FACEBOOK page.

horse riding

Tweetable TAKEAWAYS:

MAKING A DIFFERENCE IS WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT. 

WHEN GOD CALLS YOU, HE QUALIFIES YOU. 

PURSUE YOUR PASSION. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. 

GO FOR IT & NEVER GIVE UP! 

WHEN GOD HAS CALLED YOU FOR A PURPOSE, HE WILL PROVIDE ALL YOU NEED. 

FYI…

I don’t receive any reward/commission for promoting any of the people, businesses or charities on my blog. I just want to inspire & motivate as many people as possible to fulfil their purpose & potential.

 

If any other key points stood out for you, or you just want to let me know what you thought about this interview, feel free to comment below.

NEXT TIME on The Hopeaholic blog: 

That’s it for February. I’m taking a week off to ensure our house move goes smoothly. And then, from March 2022, I will only be publishing one blog post per month, as I’ve made the decision to focus on my novels and screenplays. Until then, take care of yourself & each other.  

If you subscribe to my weekly news blurb (it’s brief, honest!) you’ll be in the know. wink

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